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the bullshit formulas, procedures and reasons stoners used to explain certain phenomenon and develop theories based on said phenomenon. what causes stoners to explain why things happen with bullshit reasoning that sounds scientific. semi-related to stoner logic. The person who experienced these thoughts while high inferred them to be a type of reasoning ,generally used with pointless topics while stoned, thus it was named Stoner Science. Not everyone can use stoner science. Aperson needs the right mindset. A scientific/philosophical mindset generally. Others may work.
Actual example of Stoner Science from actual stoned person: The reason why sugary drinks helps wash away cottonmouth: Elements possibly have microbiological properties. THC is very weak microbiologically and therefore most liquids can get rid of the cottonmouth possibly caused by THC particles that collect around the inside of your mouth after smoking marijuana. Microbiologically, most liquids are stronger than THC and work like white blood cells to eradicate viruses. They go into your mouth and the erosion of the slick layer of THC that is cottonmouth is caused by the microorganisms of the liquid killing the THC microorganisms. Sugar is microbiologically stronger than liquid because of the fact that it is made of tiny crystals. The sugar microorganisms roll across your mouth and tear through the THC killing its microorganisms. THC that didn't die will gather back together and reform the layer in your mouth, but the layer will be thinner. This is why after the first drink your cottonmouth is not as bad. Other examples incude: Why dirt covers the scent of a lot of things and why freash air brings down a high.(Typed by the person who experienced these thoughts while high. If you did not understand it you were either sober or high but you do not have the correct mindset.) stoner science(best read when stoned)
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A person or persons who spends all of their time either talking about how high they are or smoking pot. Most tend to have speech impediments that make it so everytime they try to finish a sentence they burst out laughing and the remainder of the sentence is then incoherent. Most tell stories about their adventures to their friends when everyone knows no one really cares
Him: Dood I got so high last night and fell of my hasfhahhaoyuouse and then i broekakkfds my lehahahhahahahhaha.
Her: Wow your such a stoner emo badass punk hxc goth gankstah wankstah prep scene slut jock smullging border hooper.
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when someone has a bunch of black ice air fresheners hanging from their rearview, it’s known as stoner forest. usually to cover up the smell of weed
look at all the little trees that dude has in his car! he must be in stoner forest
12 pulled me over because i had stoner forest in my car
When a person, typically a college student, or a twenty something, who smokes marijuana mainly during the summer break and much less/none during the Fall and Winter semesters.
Dealer: "I'll be on campus for all of fall semester, so hmu if you need any."
Buyer: "It's all good; I'm a summer stoner."
a term in which to describe someone with an overwhelming need for instant gratification, which can only be filled by a good amount of THC intake (preferably via blunt, or bowl.) Symptoms of a 'skeezy stoner' include 1: Constantly asking if you have five on it, while never actually having five of it him or herself. 2: Never asking to hit it (as in 'always assumes he or she can hit it'.)
Look at that Sean kid. He's such a skeezy stoner. "What do we want him to do?! DIE SAD!!!"
Stoners can get high and drive, alcoholics cannot get drunk and drive therefore if you have a buddy that’s just high he is your stoner cab
Hey bro Brandon is gunna be my stoner cab for the night
A made-up (as far as I know) and also possibly temporary (depending on your decisions, once you get it) illness that you can get from being around stoners too much or possibly, even just getting touched, talked to, etc. by one where you also become a stoner yourself just from the influence of being around/touched/talked to by one or a group of them. It is usually just used jokingly to make fun of unwanted stoner people that are around you to make it known that they are not welcome around you.
*a stoner, still within earshot, almost touches you* "Woah, that was a close one! That stoner over there almost toched me. I could have gotten stoneritis. We gotta find somewhere else to hang out." (said to a friend)
"She's totally got stoneritis from hanging out with those stoner idiots all the time. That's why I just stay away from her. I don't want to get it too."