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Mike Johnson

a generic term for a white man with proto-fascist beliefs and nostalgia for the Antebellum America; the last hope for a Republican party that can be united by nothing other than white nationalism

fuck we still don't have a Speaker of the House.
chill bro they'll just elect a Mike Johnson
wait *which* Mike Johnson, my dude?
that's the beauty of it: any Mike Johnson will do

by uncle fuckbucket October 25, 2023

4๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Johnson, VT

Most fun part of Lamoilly County in Northern Vermont. With a pleasant mix of hippies, rednecks, and flatlanders, Johnson is an accepting and awesome place to do whatever the hell you want. Here you can see beloved locals like Perma-Trip, or visit The Hub or The Lovin' Cup, two yummy places to chill and eat. Tuesday Night Live is also a big deal, it's boring but a lot of the old hippies go. JSC is a college full of weird people and you can Frolf there, and the town has a ton of studios for local artists. There's also a lot of places to swim in the summer and you can hike too. Johnson is the best twon ever, it's tiny, but you'll never get bored.

Dude I'm really bored.

It sucks we aren't anywhere near Johnson, VT, we could just hang out there.

by ilovermontmd June 28, 2011

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Unicycle Johnson

Used during roller hockey games. When a player on skates is not looking, an opposing player comes up from behind and sticks the blade of his stick between his legs and hits him in the balls. The player then proceeds to drag the unwilling recipient as far as he can on skates.

Billy didn't like the way Tom was playing in the hockey game, so he gave Tom a unicycle Johnson during a time out and Tom hasn't played since.

by Bryan McCabe December 21, 2006

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Dwayne Johnson

A fine lad who spends his time making car movies and chugs alcoholic drinks on the internet. Not to be confused with The Rock, who is Dwayne Johnson's mortal enemy.

Walter White: Hey Jesse, you coming to watch Fast and Furious with me?
Jesse: You mean that dumbass movie with Dwayne Johnson in it?

by Shigekiyo Yangu June 26, 2021

3๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


johnson-juggling

The act of stimulating a penis through mechanical hand motion. More often than not it denotes the stimulation of one's own penis by one's own hand, but it can also be used to describe the stimulation of the penis by the hands of a second party of the female gender.

1. Thadeus: ''Shit, man! I gotta put a stop to all the johnson-juggling. This is the 6th time this year I've had to get my spectacles prescription renewed''.

Alvin: ''I know, let's invent the 'johnson-juggling challenge!''

Thadeus: ''What the hell's that!?''

Alvin: ''Well basically it requires one to punish himself for any acts of johnson-juggling that he indulges in. The punsihment is that for each act of johnson-juggling that one indulges in, one must buy his opponent in the johnson-juggling challenge a beer at the next meeting''.

Thadeus: ''Awesome. Let's do it.

Note. Thadeus was tighter than 2 coats of paint. There was no way he was going to be buying Alvin beers. But...he was an honest guy so he just quit the johnson-juggling and saved himself the cash. IMPORTANTLY acts of johnson-juggling performed by a female are unpunishable.

by Papa J-Bomb January 3, 2011

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Sir Johnson

The most handsome guy someone will ever meet. He is caring, shy, and willing to do anything for someone who he cares for. He's strong and very athletic. He is sexy but doesn't show it off. The kind of guy any girl would love to have.

Sir? Sir Johnson?

Oh Sir. He's great.

by Tatiana Smith December 12, 2008

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jack Johnson

A whiny Bitch with a guitar that every one loves for being trendy.

Jack Johnson is a Douche

by Jak6508 January 28, 2010

55๐Ÿ‘ 107๐Ÿ‘Ž