Random
Source Code
Random
Someone with the urge to constantly touch themselves in unknown places. Particularly when they have a vajay jay like chewbacca.
Jess: ew rach stop doing that, chewbacca has been fed.
Rach: he needs more. Always more. Anyway I have an excuse, i am a chronic masturbator don't you know!
4👍 23👎
Purposely watching or thinking about sad subject matter in order to purposely provoke an emotional release (most commonly in the form of crying).
The Humane Society commercial is my favorite emotion(al) masturbation material. That shit has me crying all night.
A person who puts on a song and has to masturbate to the beat of the song. The song is usually some sort of edm of electronic music.
Guy 1: what should we do
Girl 1: lets do the masturbate to the beat challenge !
Guy 1: sounds great!
14👍 1👎
A friend (usually female) on Facebook added solely for the purpose of masturbation.
After running out of suitable material, I resorted to looking at the pictures of my Friends with masturbation benefits on Facebook.
62👍 11👎
When a gentlemen decides to enter the masturbatory stage of his day, he may decide to deploy the homo sapien style (standing up) only to realize his t-shirt drops down into penile range. To avoid ejaculate or any lubratory means being transferred onto ones personnel, the ninja technique is engaged by whipping the front flap of the t-shirt over the head to create a warm, stylish, and protective measure against the army of unbelievable stickiness.
Policeman 1: "We found this fine young lad frozen to death here in the arctic tundra'.
Policeman 2: "It looks like he's been out here for weeks and missed the warm soothing touch of a woman, and decided to literally take matters into his own hands".
Policeman 1: "Correctomundo. If only he had a mentor to teach him the ways of the masturbating ninja technique, he might have pulled through".
Policeman 2: "Hey! Yeah that's true. If only he kept his shirt flipped over his head with his shoulders covered instead of taking it completely off, he'd still be here today".
Policeman 1: "Poor, poor, uninformed bastard".
To masturbate even after you've ejaculated.
Derek couldn't stop masturbating, thus commiting machine gun masturbation.
117👍 26👎
The act of having sex with one's clone.
Question: Is having sex with one's clone incest or masturbation?
Answer: It's neither. It's narcisso-incestuous masturbation.
30👍 6👎