When you're in a shitty relationship and the only good thing is the sex.
Barb: Jenna, honestly, I don't know why you stay with that asshole."
Jernna: That dick, though.
Barb: So, it's like a one year stand?
4๐ 1๐
The amount of time it takes for young inspired teachers to reach complete burnout in American public schools. This is largely due to standardized lesson plans and tests, inept administration, being worked overtime with poor pay, and students and parents who don't care.
New Teacher: "If I can just reach one student today, I will have done a good job"
6-year burnout teacher: "Jason, I'm sick of your attitude. Turn in your test and get out of my classroom!"
6-year burnout teacher: "Class, instead of having you read Julius Caesar, and me teach you about it, we are just going to watch a portion of the movie to cram for the EOG test."
4๐ 1๐
A scotch whisky that has been aged in the barrel at least 12 years.
Aging of Scotch takes place in an oak cask, which is charred inside before being filled. Over the years, the whisky seeps in and out of the charcoal. This filters it, mellowing it, and gives it the caramel color (charred wood, like charred sugar, produces caramel, both being of similar chemical composition.)
Once the scotch is bottled the aging stops.
If you have a bottle of scotch which was distilled in 1944 and bottled in 1956, you have a bottle of 12 year old scotch.
When my roommate from college came to town we reminisced over a bottle of 12 year old.
130๐ 120๐
Billy:"Mommy, mommy, I'm a 9 year old now so I can play fortnite!"
Mom: " You're a disappointment and I hope you get aids."
12๐ 7๐
woman 1: i'm turning 69 today~
man 1: let's do the 69 then ;)
kid: what's wrong with being a 69 year old?
12๐ 3๐
The extremely safe method to not have children, consisting of waiting four years with a boyfriend/girlfriend before having sex. Also can be taken as 1 base for every year.
Mike: "You hit that yet?"
Skeeter: "Naw man, only half way through that four-year-plan. Sho aint gonna be paying no child support though, YADADAMEAN?!?"
7๐ 3๐