Random
Source Code
Random
When you place a females underwear over you head and wank yourself off, usually with used underwear: the smellier the better.
Named so becuase one resembles spiderman with both eyes looking out through the leg holes.
Bob: I had a spiderman wank with your underwear last night, it fucking stank!
Sally: That's not my underwear, I'm helping old Mrs. Clegg with her laundry, she is 95 you know.
Bob: Ah well, I wondered why they smelled of fish AND cheese, but enjoyed it nonetheless.
Sally: I want a divorce.
47👍 23👎
a prude who is opposed to discussion of wanking in casual conversation and who is against people wanking at social gatherings
"dont be a wank nazi, it's been a long day"
20👍 8👎
A competition of who can wank the longest, at full speed, without cumming.
11 years and younger can't play cause they never will cum.
112👍 63👎
A fuck that's only marginally better than a wank (ie. having sex with this chick will only be slightly better than masturbating to your best pornographic material).
Technically a term that only applies to 6's, but apply to all normal day women so you know there's nothing at stake.
A guy sees your run-of-the-mill hot chick and is not impressed.
Guy 1: She's a wank and a half, isn't she?
Guy 2: Totally.
A chick is a WAAH if she's only got her physical appearance and it's not even of supermodel quality.
Say WAAH!!!
18👍 7👎
A Wank And A Half, the yardstick for a women’s performance in bed.
(see Wank Rank: A superior way of objectifying women.)
Instead of the inaccurate number system, whereby a women is given a number based on their level of attractiveness between 1-10, she may be better objectified according to her performance, perceived or otherwise, in the sack.
Using the act of masturbation as a unit of measurement, a women may be ranked like so, in no particular order:
A Wank And A Half
A Wank And A Bit
A Wank And Three Quarters, if she’s really good.
And…
Worse Than A Wank
Based on a universal, non-esoteric unit of measure, the Wank Rank is the preferred Lay-person’s description of women.
Guy 1: Check her out, what do you think she is?
Guy 2: A 6, getting on to 7.
Guy 1: No, I mean what do you think she’s like, in bed?
Guy 2: Oh, you mean her Wank Rank?
Guy 1: Course.
Guy 2: A Wank And A Half?
Next day.
Guy 1: So, how was she?
Guy 2: In Layman’s terms, a Wank And A Quarter.
Guy 1: Ooh, I’m sorry.
Guy 2: Yeah, it was disappointing. I’ve got to stop overestimating chicks. Hey, I never heard what you thought.
Guy 1: What, you mean what Wank Rank I gave her in my head?
Guy 2: Yeah. You’ve always been better at placing women than me.
Guy 1: It comes with practice.
Guy 2: So what did you think?
Guy 1: Well, it’s kind of pointless now, seeing as how you’ve already had sex with her.
Guy 2: Well, I still want to know.
Guy 1: It doesn’t matter.
Guy 2: Come on.
Guy 1: You really want to know?
Guy 2: Yeah, of course.
Guy 1: Well… I kinda knew she’d be Worse Than A Wank.
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: Yeah, you had a lot to drink last night, and you were seriously hung-over this morning, but yeah, she looked awful.
Guy 2: Worse Than A Wank? No way, she couldn’t have been that bad.
Guy 1: No seriously, she was like an inch of makeup, cancerously tanned and looks like she may have a venereal disease.
Guy 2: WHAT? And you let me take her home?
Guy 1: Yeah, sorry about that.
Guy 2: I COULD HAVE GOTTEN AIDS!
Guy 1: Yeah, it’s almost enough to make you stick to wanking, or go gay.
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: I said it’s enough to make you want to abandon women altogether.
Guy 2: Are you trying to tell me something?
Guy 1: Yeah.
Pause.
Guy 1: I’m gay.
Guy 2: I gathered.
25👍 11👎
A Wank-Shake is a filthy prank played by mcdonald's employees on innocent customers, who purchase any variety of milkshake, from a drive thru. to do this male employees will wack off into your milkshake thus creating a Wank-Shake. The symptoms of obtaining a Wank-Shake are: extra saltyness, your straw becoming blocked due to chilled spunk, stickyness after drinking milkshake and most of all, circular swirls of cream/white in your milkshake, due to a cheap attempt to cover it up.
Customer: "excuse me sir, i didn't want vanilla swirl in my milkshake!!"
Employee: "noo mate thats no vanilla!!!, (sniggers to others).
Larry: "did you sort that posh twat in the mercedes a Wank-Shake".
Barry: "ov'coarse mate, a nice steamy one, Wank my cock!! haha!!!!"..
Larry: "Lerious-character!!! hahaha!!".
16👍 6👎
<verb><noun> Slang;
1) To rub one's genitals between a pair of breasts to cause orgasm.
2) Offensive slang; An insult.
1) "Oh my god, I am having the uberest orgasm ever due to this extremely nice tit-wank you have bestowed upon my person."
2) "Dave, you silly tit-wank get back here before I burn your gerbil."
102👍 57👎