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The only day of the year you can finally get your girl agree to have butt sex.
Josh: Dude! You hyped for Valentine's day?
Parker: Yeah! Gonna get a whole bunch of that Valentine's day butt sex.
8👍 2👎
Cake (dessert) that is 'better than sex'. In other words, a really good, preferably chocolate sauce smothered piece of baked goodness.
Thing 1: "Have you ever had better than sex cake?"
Thing 2: "What's 'sex cake'?"
Thing 1: "No, just better than sex cake."
Thing 2: "Wait, what's 'sex cake?'"
Thing 1: "No, there isn't sex cake! It's better than 'sex', 'cake'!"
Thing 2: "Oh! You mean cake...that's better than sex?"
Thing 1: "Yeah...So I'm assuming you've never had it before?"
Thing 2: "Had what, sex or cake?"
39👍 19👎
when someone goes into a dark room or area with intentions to have sex with someone (or otherwise cannot see their intended partner), then, after the sexual encounter, finds out they had sex with someone else without knowing it.
Melanie went into the room and thought she had sex with Chris. However, she really had sex with Lambert. Wow, Lambert did the ninja-ghost-sex move on her.
126👍 78👎
A group of individuals who believe that God hates all anal sex and those whom allow anal sex to exist ("assfuck"). They do distasteful things such as protest at the funerals of anal sexual people, carrying signs stating that God hates anal sexual people, and that the deceased person is going to Hell for being an anal sexual people.
They also believe that ANYTHING bad that happens to America is due to anal sex and "assfuckers." For example, Hurrican Katrina and American soldier's deaths in Iraq.
They are currently competing for the worst group of humans that have and will ever exist, along side Nazis, neo-Nazis, the KKK, and Muslim extremeists.
They take it upone themselves to tell people what God does and or does not like/hate. Not only is this arrogant, it is detrimental to our society, and contradictory to a lot of the Bible.
If God does in fact hate anal sex , he will deal with them himself in the afterlife, assuming that God and the afterlife does exist. Therefore, I propose, that all members of "God Anal Sex " shut the fuck up and keep their own, hateful ideologies to themselves so that our society can make progress in the field of "tolerance", something that has been in short supply the entire existence of humanity.
I hope that God does exists, and that everyone in "God Hates Anal Sex " goes to hell, prompting an entrance in the Guiness World Record Book as "The Most Ironic Event of All Time."
God Hates Anal Sex is a collection of the most dispiccable and arogant motherfuckers that have nothing better to do than to harass grieving parents at their anal sexual son/daughter's funeral
God Hates Anal Sex is a collection of the most dispiccable and arogant motherfuckers that have nothing better to do than to harass grieving parents at their anal sexual son/daughter's funeral.
102👍 59👎
When watching a movie with family members and an unexpected sex scene comes on and no one will make a sound.
Also when two friends who had a one night stand together but refused to talk about it because it was weird watch a movie and a sex scene comes on.
When a family is having a great laugh and a sex scene come one and suddenly the room is silent and you can hear everyone gulping nervously and hear their sweat dripping.
Mom: "Oh my what an awkward film sex moment!"
Or
When two friends who have a sexual history are watching a movie together for fun and a sex scene comes on, and the room suddenly gets hotter and weirder.
Mary: "Awkward..."
Timmy: "Can we do that again?"
Mary: "........"
46👍 25👎
Said by someone who is not very involved in some activity routinely as an answer to "look what can I do in (insert the activity here)! You cannot do something like that!" line.
Most common used when someone is boasting about his computer/gaming skills.
-Hey! Look at this cool program I wrote! Can you do that?
-no, but at least I have sex...
18👍 7👎
a sexual maneuver which involves the girl going on 2 knees while the guy cums in her face, immediately followed by placing a gold metal on her neck.
guy 1: dude, last night at the pool locker room, this chick gave ma a michael phelps (sex move)
guy 2: man, i wish my girlfriend gives me michael phelps.
23👍 10👎