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people born on august 13th have massive dicks
John: "Ben, is your birthday August 13th?"
Ben: "Yes John."
John: "You must have a massive dick!"
The day a legendary mf named Erik Montes was born
: “Wake up its august 21st”
“What happens today?”
“ERIK WAS BORN TODAY”
National boyfriend day!
Give your bf lots of love and attention, tell him how much you appreciate him.
Give him the best day ever. 💙
Its August 5th, Happy national boyfriends day to the best boyfriend their is!!!
Beat the shit out of your sister.
Hey its August 5th imma go beat my sister to death.
A divine Feminine with a heart of gold was born
August 5th, Nature created a wonderful serendipity
Me : Haha this is mine now
Him : why are you doing this?
Me : its bully your August 5th bully your brother day!
Him : ugh and I have to wait until August 4th!?
august 4th is the day you’ll meet your soulmate from being a horn dog 😀 it’s okay though, you guys will fall inlove and only be 4 hours away, same age, two months apart.. the person you fall inlove with will love macadamia nut cookies, have a few tummy issues, an incredible dog<3, and love you no matter what. you’ll know he’s the one because you guys will talk abt the exact day you’ll meet eachother in person. he’ll be the best person in your life no matter the ups or downs, because you love him and he loves you regardless how low you guys feel, you’ll feel it together and be together to help. things around you aren’t going to be perfect, but you two together are and will be forever and always, always and forever 💗
august 4th:
you*plays a gaMe and walks up to soon to be soulmate*: waNnA fF?