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A list of all the celebrities you would love to fuck, but, like a Christmas list, you don't usually get what you want.
Jie: Hey Tj, who is on your Christmas List?
Tj: I would have to say I would bang Megan Fox, Katy Perry, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Lawrence, and at number one Scarlett Johansson!
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Someone who revels in the commercial circus around mid to late September onwards, by purchasing tinsel and baubles covered in god awful glitter, and grossly over priced electrical goods for their brat kids or moronic friends and family. Can be found salivating over burnt offerings of turkey and a log better suited to a toilet pan.
The Christmas lover needs to be put down
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The runs you get on xmas morning after to much to drink on xmas eve.
Mum: You were in the toilet a long time this morning.
Son: Yep, I drank miles too much last night and had the old Christmas Squits!!!
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Euphemism used when embarrassed about being too poor to buy gifts for any one.
Pat: I am really having a religious Christmas this year.
Bret: Yeah, I’m out of cash, too.
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Noun.
A traditional christmas consists of the following.
1.) Drinking.
2.) Beating your wife
3.) Having gay buttsex with your friends
Guy 1: Hey guys, do you want to have a traditional christmas this year?
Guy 2: What's that?
Guy 1: Oh, it's where you drink and beat your wife
Guy 2: Sounds fun, lets do it!
Guy 1: Oh, and we have to have gay buttsex.
Guy 3: ...
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Serving up an ice cream cone, with delicious sperm topping.
All Jane ever wanted was a "white christmas" with Joe.
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when a bunch of jews shit down chimneys to show commitment to their religion
"i hope this year nobody gives us a black christmas, santa keeps on mistaking it for cookies, the shit leads a trail through the house into my daughters bedroom""it realy is a mess to clean up"
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