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One who secretly smokes methamphetamine out of hookers buttholes using a special ass bong device. It is like a normal bong except that the bottom is open, allowing the water chamber to be the rectum of said hooker.
Bro: "Yo man I heard Randy is a closet candy crusher. Dude smokes ice out of skank booty."
Bro2: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let him borrow my assbong. Oh well YOLO!"
Bro: "Nasty mang, you probably got mouth herpes now."
The place where you stay to heal after a heart break. There's a bunch of people in there. Some people may even stay there forever.
My ex girlfriend does not text me back, she may be in the healing closet
1. Porn that is gay that someone tries to pass off as not being gay in order to try and convince themselves and others that they are straight.
2. Trap porn
Person 1: "Hey have you seen Jeff?"
Person 2: "Yeah, he's been spamming my chats with closet porn for the past couple of days trying to convince me that traps aren't gay."
A person - especially male - who is beyond their teen/college years in age yet still has the mindset and interests of a teenager, but who must pass themselves off as a mature, responsible person in order to fit into society.
The reason weed and boobs have the most slang terms for them is because the people who mostly come up with slang terms are teenage boys and closet teens.
a person who is ashamed of accepting the fact that they do pick their noses.
Natalie: Do you pick your nose?
Asian: no..
Natalie: YOU LIAR!
Asian: ???
Natalie: CLOSET PICKER!
Usually found in the Mid-west, a renouned breed of dog that resides 100% of it's life in a "Ginger"'s closet. The Closet Beagle and the Ginger usually bond for life, creating an inner world of fantasy and illusions. The most notable Closet Beagle was "Bagel", owned by a Ginger in Kansas, Bagel became the mascot of mid-west started "Kult", a transendental meditaion group whos core value set revolves around the Duality of Man.
You know, Ben certainly is a Closet Beagle, always alone and only associates with Gingers.
A person who acts like they don't care about anyone, but deep down they really do have their good friends' backs.
Guy: That kid is so mean, he only cares about himself.
Girl: That's so not true, he's my friend, and he's a total closet fambam.