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The art of telling your employer that you will be working from home, when your sole intention is to stream youporn all day.
Stace: Michael, when were you last in the office?
Michael: It's been months now, I've been (JFH) jerking from home
Stace: Okay, some were worried that you had a massive stroke or something
Michael: You're not too far off the mark...
When you are out at night with a coworker of the opposite sex & end up driving them home & somehow magically wake up in their bed the next morning.
Dan ended his night last night by driving a coworker home. He drove Sarah home from the bar last night. I went to pick up Dan this morning to play golf & he wasn't at his apt. Instead, he was at Sarah's from the night before and she was making him pancakes.
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The conically shaped area on a weather map that simultaneously predicts where a hurricane will make landfall and which Home Depot locations will make record profits
"Dem jews dat run Home Depot were profiteers of the fear of african Americans! The black man must fear the cone of home depot!" - Spike Lee
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Taking a dump in your own bathroom.
Buddy #1 : Take me home I gotta take a deuce.
Buddy #2 : Dude just take shit at my house.
Buddy #1 : Come on bro, You know I need the home field advantage.
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Someone who is mentally vacant. "Fit in body but sick in mind" as one may have said in an ancient Catholic will.
Q:Why does she just sit in that rocking chair all day?
A:The lights are on, but there's nobody home.
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that shitty last thing you say to your friend as they bleed to death in a burning building.
"Let's go home, Hide."
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Jacking off. Masturbating. Achieving an orgasm alone.
"I have driven home alone, this will be the last time I drive alone, just swallow my load and I will be happy."
The date ended pussyless. I had to drive home alone that night.
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