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A person - especially male - who is beyond their teen/college years in age yet still has the mindset and interests of a teenager, but who must pass themselves off as a mature, responsible person in order to fit into society.
The reason weed and boobs have the most slang terms for them is because the people who mostly come up with slang terms are teenage boys and closet teens.
a person who is ashamed of accepting the fact that they do pick their noses.
Natalie: Do you pick your nose?
Asian: no..
Natalie: YOU LIAR!
Asian: ???
Natalie: CLOSET PICKER!
A dom, usually one which, as the name suggests, is in the closet. They are usually inexperienced with sex.
This is unlike a under-dom, as the closet dom does not want to believe they are a dom, or they want to be a sub, but in reality they cannot help themselves from their inner dom. Not to say they are particularly dominant in secret, but that they are in the end the dominant one.
Vel: "I bet Karl is a closet dom; he wants to be a sub, but he's really a dom.
When someone has been closeted from their gayness for so long they end up getting time confused
Yo Jaxon thought it was 12:36am last night when it was clearly 1:36am, I think he has in the closet syndrome.
One who secretly smokes methamphetamine out of hookers buttholes using a special ass bong device. It is like a normal bong except that the bottom is open, allowing the water chamber to be the rectum of said hooker.
Bro: "Yo man I heard Randy is a closet candy crusher. Dude smokes ice out of skank booty."
Bro2: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let him borrow my assbong. Oh well YOLO!"
Bro: "Nasty mang, you probably got mouth herpes now."
The place where you stay to heal after a heart break. There's a bunch of people in there. Some people may even stay there forever.
My ex girlfriend does not text me back, she may be in the healing closet
Someone who follows the path of all things right and just. But with an inner desire to cause mayhem, destruction or to believe in heretical beings/ideologies with said desire occasionally coming to the surface.
Connor is such a Closet Heretic, he always chooses chaos while preaching about justice.