Random
Source Code
Random
k
Kevin's mom : Hey Kevin what did you do last night
Kevin : I did anal sex involving objects.
Kevin's mom : ...
4👍 5👎
It's when you walk into the bedroom wearing size 13 or larger boots and rocking a 'fro. You shove one of the boots up her pussy until she starts bleeding, then you dip your nose in until it's fully red, tickle her with your 'fro. Finally, you get up and as you're about to walk away you remind her to stay happy by yelling out "Smiles are free, bitch!!!". Then you walk away.
Kevin: how did that little skank Alex like your gift?
Guido: I spent the money on booze instead, then I went over to her place and gave her a Ronald McDonald.
Kevin: wow, you've really gona the extra mile with this bitch huh?
Guido: yah, she's lucky to have someone as thoughtful as me. Who else would do the Ronald McDonald sex move on that whore.
28👍 44👎
When a male or female feels uncomfortable having sex in someone else's house or apartment. They can only fornicate in listening distance of their parent(s).
Boy: "Hey baby, wanna come back to my apartment so we can have some alone time?"
Girl: "I'm not a huge fan of sleeping with you at your place, I would feel more comfortable with you pounding me in my parents guest room."
Boy: "Thats the room next to your parents?"
Girl: "I know" (wearing a very dirty smile)
Boy: "You definitely have security blanket sex syndrome, I should probably go look for someone else, but I think your hott so I'll be by in a little bit"
6👍 6👎
Shaven gay sex monkeys are a rare breed of primate found in the ancient rain forrests of Southern Botswana. Protected as an endangered species, these monkeys are one of the most highly sexed creatures on the planet, spending most of the day masturbating and participating in lewd sexual acts with other animals.
One was said to have a relationship with a top UK politician, eventially selling his story to the newspapers and emigrating to New Zealand where he appeared as an extra in the blockbuster movie King Kong.
Would you like to meet my shaven gay sex monkey? His name is Bob.
29👍 48👎
The doggy style sex position but when yall are both mad at each other and still wanna fuck.
Wanna do the pumpernickel fuck sex position were both mad and horney so let's pumpernickel fuck her and now.
3👍 2👎
When a male normally around the age of a high schooler or college student; however cases have been found in other age groups, refuses to dumb an annoying bitch of a girlfriend once he starts having steady sex with a girl for fear of not being able to find someone else to fuck and suck his dick on the reg in an timely fashion.
Everyone - Bro, we hate your girlfriend. She is an annoying bitch let alone ugly and you could do a lot better.
Pussy whipped Guy - You do not know her like I do. She's really nice once you get to know her and I am not going to do any better.
Everyone else - Give it up Jeremy has Girlfriend Sex Syndrome (GFSS).
17👍 25👎