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Someone with a hairy anus/taint.
Don’t let Joe bend over, he’s got a real carpet crack
The carpet burns you get on your knees from doing it doggy style
What happened to your knees??
Got attacked by Carpet Skeeters
A person who eats the lady cat without caring if it has hair on it or not
Bro she just called you mr.carpet magician
1980s slang for having sex on carpet, typically living room floor or bedroom.
Jill's parents weren't home Friday night, it was a real carpet rodeo.
When a girl flicks her bean so hard it bleeds or when a girl is on her period and you decide to flick the old bean anyways
Damn Nevin last night I was with Lucy and she had a carpet cranberry
The act deplorable act of cutting a hole into a stuffed animal, fucking it, nutting inside of it, then taking the fur of the stuffed animal, cutting it off, and making a fur suit out of it, then wearing it in public.
Person A: Hey what the fuck are you doing?!
Person B: Oh I’m just carpet sampling
Person A: Carpet sampling is the new meta!!
Person B: Kill yourself!
Toes that are immensely bigger than the average human's fingers and are able to claw their way into your carpet, through your floor, gripping your house foundation, hence the name carpet crunchers.
Extra 1: BE QUIET DON'T YOU HAVE TWO CARPET CRUNCHERS 3000??
Extra 2: HOW BOUT YOU LEAVE THEM ALONE OR THEYRE GONNA BECOME HUMAN CRUNCHERS