Random
Source Code
Random
A song of Rihanna referring to long distance relationships.
In this California king bed
We're 10,000 miles apart
I've been California wishing on these stars
For your heart on me
My California king
26👍 9👎
The point at which a lesbian has so many rescue dogs in there bed it is no longer possible for them to engage is sex acts with one another
They are just fostering that lab-pit mix but it will lead to lesbian bed death if he dosnt get adopted soon.
19👍 7👎
Like crime scene investigators, but figuratively, wear 'white gloves' and clean up the bed (the crime scene) after an extra marital or secret sexual affair to get rid of the evidence left behind i.e. semen, cum, etc.
Stephanie and Sam had to white glove the bed after having sex so Sam's boyfriend wouldn't suspect anything.
11👍 2👎
A bed mattress with holes that makes masturbation in bed for men easier than ever. A man may lay face down on the mattress so he can insert his penis into a hole that is shaped much like the tunnel of love sex toy. The man will then proceed to hump the bed until he ejaculates as the semen is washed down into a connected sewer line.
Honey, I bought the brand new Sleep Humper Bed so you won't have to worry about sex anymore.
11👍 3👎
Feeling lonely when you're used to sleeping next to somebody but now you have to sleep alone.
Arturo broke up with his girlfriend and now at night he suffers from an acute case of empty bed syndrome.
15👍 4👎
Another term for short-sheeting, a practical joke where the lower sheet is folded back--effectively halving the bed's length--and placed under another blanket to disguise what has been done. The victim, often the joker's roommate, is meant to climb in, find him/herself unable to actually lie down, and look like an idiot.
Frank Zappa (shouting at his roommate after supposedly falling victim to one): This is an apple pie bed too far, Don!
22👍 7👎
When a man is in the hospital and the nurse jerks him off after giving him his sponge bath.
Guy 1: "So I heard you were in the hospital. How was that?"
Guy 2: "It was horrible until my nurse came in to bathe me and she gave me a "bed bath and beyond". It was awesome!
22👍 7👎