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One quarantine masturbation routine is to smoke dope, lube your tube, jerk-off, squirt seven times, relax and repeat.
I'm home alone, so I think I'l do one of my quarantine masturbation routines!
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The act of performing extremely violent self sexual pleasure the morning after a night of heavy drinking and not getting laid. Usually leaves self inflicted puss oozing wounds and burns that can last up to 2 days; eventually, they turn into scabs then heal.
The guy who didn't get laid the night before decided to take his anger out through angry masturbation on a hangover.
or:
(during the act) "Damn you YAM RAAAHHH!!! You sat on my BALLS ARRRGGH!!! I HATE YO! RAAAH!!!!"
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verb, intransitive The act of looking up oneself's first name on urbandictionary in an attempt to produce an ego high by reading the overflow of entries made by other people complementing their boyfriend or girlfriend. Those who exhibit this phenomenon typically have a forever alone relationship status, do not receive complements from family and friends, or, if done in the company of others, are being attention whores.
Olive: Hey look, guys! I looked up my name on urbandictionary, look at all the nice things people have said about me!
Joe: Shut the fuck up, you ego masturbating attention whore.
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My quarantine masturbation routine is smoke dope, jack off, cum, smile, repeat.
Time for my quarantine masturbation routine.
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International masturbation day is on the 4th of november and it is when you and a friend from the opposite sex both masturbate at the same time and talk dirty over the phone to make each other cum and the winner gets sucked off by the other
Girl: it's international masturbation day
Boy: what does that mean?
Girl: we masturbate to make each other cum, winner gets to get sucked off by the other
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When someone strokes your ego because you passively prompted them to do so. "Masturbate" relates to the self-love aspect, while "staying warm" relates to the warm feelings received from the compliment.
Sally: I feel so fat! I gained like 3 lbs last month.
Pat: (Thinks: Why does Sally have to always masturbate to stay warm...so annoying...whatever, I'll just play along) You look great, Sally! What are you talking about? You're totally smokin' girl.
Sally: Thank! You always make me feel better.
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An Electronic Masturbation Device, purchased at MEO, is a male jack-off machine that a guy uses or another guy can use to give his dick an awesome cumgasm. A dude's boner is lubed and inserted into it's oriface and placed over his cock-head and then turned on -- with 10 different settings, someone can use the cum-maker to give a guy's cock a mild to wild cumgasm as he blows hs load. Also used for "hands-free" or "forced" cumgasms.
My cadet roomie, Matt, bought an Electronic Masturbation Device, and he ties my hands behind my back and makes me suck his dick until we both have mind and cock-blowing cumgasms -- then he makes me swallow his cum and suck the device clean!
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