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slim jesus

A white Boy Who Thinks He's Black He Made The Song,"Drill Time" He's from Ohio

"I fuck with savages,you a fuckboy you can't hang." - Slim Jesus,Drill Time

by Dr Gang In This Bitch October 30, 2015

39πŸ‘ 12πŸ‘Ž


jesus saves!

what you yell out loud when Jesus the goalie blocks a puck from entering the net.

he's going for the shot...but the goalie blocks it! Jesus saves! What a save by Jesus!

by hockey rules June 4, 2005

66πŸ‘ 23πŸ‘Ž


Jesus Christ

The name Bill Cosby thought was his growing up. He thought his brothers name was "God Dammit".

According to Cosby's classic stand-up routine, his father would always yell at him and his brother.

Something like: "Jesus Christ, it's raining, get in here. God Dammit, you get in here too.".

But then one day he was playing in the yard alone and his father called him: "God Dammit, quit making such a racket!" Bill just stood there looking around for his brother. "God Dammit didn't you hear me?" yelled his father to which Bill replied, "But dad, I'm Jesus Christ!"

Jesus Christ, the Simpsons are killing us in the ratings! God Dammit we're being forced into cancellation because of a stupid cartoon!

by Alfie The Horndog September 18, 2005

2603πŸ‘ 1243πŸ‘Ž


Jesus piece

An oversized platinum, gold or silver pendant sometimes encrusted with diamonds and other gems made in the likeness of Jesus. These pendants are worn on a heavy rope style of necklace.

The Jesus piece, and other styles of large pendants worn with rope style jewelry have been a staple of hip hop youth culture for nearly thirty years. Presently, hip hop artists and fans alike use the Jesus piece as a symbol of being "hood" or keepin' it real and being extravagantly wealthy at the same time. The Jesus piece testifies to the fact "you can take the man out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the man."



It's like that, and that's the way it is. HUH!

After the famous hip hop artist assured an entertainment reporter he was "an ordinary erryday
type-a dude from around the way just keepin it gangsta and keepin it street"; he turned to the cameras to pose for a photo opportunity, holding his 150,000 dollar diamond studded platinum Jesus piece in his right hand and making a sideways peace sign with his left.

by yallahyallah February 7, 2008

395πŸ‘ 171πŸ‘Ž


Jesus was a liberal

A saying used by liberals to accentuate the point that Jesus would probably not be a supporter of blood-thirsty killing, genocide, ethnic cleansing, or basic un-Godliness like war and the murdering of civilians.

Considering Jesus was murdered and crucified for his revolutionary beliefs in a time of war and imperialistic arrogance and Jesus' recorded attributes of selfless and righteous behaviors attributed to love and brotherhood, it seems more likely Jesus would not be for any type of political or religious based wars.

Many republicans and conservatives scoff at this saying and begin to utter delusional phrases like, "Jesus would definetely vote Republican" and "Jesus hates Muslims" and "Jesus was a white man".

"Of course Jesus was a liberal. Can you imagine Jesus bashing a black kid's face in with a rock and then hanging him in front of a crowd of smiling white people?"

"No, I guess not."

by Reasoner August 27, 2006

74πŸ‘ 27πŸ‘Ž


Jesus Dan

Jesus answers the calls. He gets dicked down. He’s sexy. His wife and him have children called hatchlings. Praise this glorious man, or you will go to da grave

Person: I don’t know what to do
Person 2: O praise o praise this glorious man, o praise o praise this Jesus Dan

by liltoast October 28, 2019

8πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


freezing Jesus

To make a (video) chat lag and/or freeze by spamming the comments. Usually due to a large amount of lurking people suddenly reacting to someone appearing on the webcam after hours of staring at a table/notebook/etc.

Coming from Ryland Blackinton's (Cobra Starship) "Who froze Jesus?" reaction to someone's "Jesus it's frozen" comment upon the sudden lag in the video.

Also see shelf kids.

Shelf kid #1: OMG I SAW SOMETHING MOVE!!!1!
Shelf kid #2: OMFG ME TOO RIGHT THERE IN THE RIGHT CORNER!!!
Shelf kid #3: IT'S GABE OMG HI GABE GABEY GABEY GABEY!!!11!!1
Shelf kid #1 & 2: GAAAAAAAABE HI GABE SOUND PLZ GABEGABEGABE SOUNDDDDDD!!!!! COME ON GABE QUIT TEASIN US UNMUTE PLZZZZ!!11
Etc.

Shelf kid #4: Stop freezing Jesus, y'all!

by thatssonotaword January 22, 2009

8πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž