Turtle helmet

When the end of a poo hangs out your sphincter ("turtle heading" or "touching cloth") for so long that it turns hard and crusty.

I've been touching cloth so long I've got turtle helmet.

6👍 3👎

Turtle Spread

The sweat that accumulates in ones butt crack after long periods of time in a hot place. See also "swas"

its so hot in here, i have a plethora of turlte spread.

7👍 3👎

turtle racing

slang/code for "smoking marijuana".

wanna do some turtle racing after work? i have some really nice purple ones.. heheh

7👍 5👎

Stealth Turtle

When you pull a mooney with a turtle head poking out.....and no-one notices.

I was at a party last week and i pulled out a stealth turtle.

7👍 4👎

turtle herder

Someone who collects fecal matter.

My sister is such a turtle herder, she's always digging around in that cat box.

17👍 14👎

Turtle-Bitch

A skinny fucker who refuses to get up after sleeping in a turtle formation.

Rosario is a complete Turtle-Bitch! she never wants fucking get up...lazy ass!

8👍 5👎

Mock turtle

A Mock turtle occurs when one has what feels like a poo brewing, and upon trying to defecate finds nought not even or gas.

I felt a huge shit brewing so went and laid a dissappointing mock turtle and I had not even a wiff of gas.

8👍 5👎