asswipe

Any white person.

The dude's an asswipe.

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ASSWIPE Litigation

Legal Term. Bullshitting your way through litigation.

(A)sserting
(S)tupid
(S)hit
(W)hile
(I)ntentionally
(P)ussyfooting
(E)Evidence

Knowing he would lose the case on the facts, Cornelius was forced to employ ASSWIPE litigation tactics.

asswipe

wipe for ass; brian
using child on rectum to ploeasure oneself

i just used baby jesus as an asswipe

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Asswipe Johnson

On September 26th, 1992 Nicolas Cage hosted Saturday Night Live. In one sketch Nicolas Cage and actress Julia Sweeney act out parts as soon to be parents deciding on a name for their child. After many of the suggestions by the wife the husband continues to decline most of the names she is coming up with on the grounds that the child would be made fun of because of that particular name. As the husband continues to be more defensive about his own past as being made fun of and continues to dislike the names suggested, a telegram is delivered by an agent played by Rob Schneider. The agent tells them that the telegram is for a person named “Asswipe Johnson”. The husband immediately tries to correct him by informing him that his name is pronounced: “Os-wee-pay”. It is at this time you realize the motivation behind the husband’s scrutiny. This term is often used in a comical way in substitution for a person of which you forgot their name. Basically a synonym for John Doe. The term can be used as “Asswipe Johnson”, or “Osweepay Johnson”.

A: What was the name of that guy you knew with that thing?
B: Oh, uh....I dunno, Osweepay Johnson?
A: Osweepay Johnson, thats funny.
B: Do you get it?
A: Not really.
B: Osweepay, Asssss....wipe.
A: Oh yea! Hehehehehe.
B: Mm-kay.

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Origami Asswipe

to wipe one's buttocks with a wad of toilet paper and then fold the paper in on itself so that one may wipe again with the same wad without the feces on that wad making contact with either the hand or the buttocks. Its purpose may be either to conserve toilet paper, or to be able to finish cleaning one's rear when very little toilet paper remains.

A: I gotta take a dump.
B: We're almost out of toilet paper.
A: That's Ok. I'll do an origami asswipe.
B: Can I watch?

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urban asswipe

A person who tries to get their or a friends name in Urban Dictionary. Feckless little sniveling unwanted useless people whose lives mean nothing and should and will die. SOON.

Yo. Looks like that ho is tryin be a urban asswipe. yo.

Christmas Asswipe

Toilet paper stained green and red as a result of wiping after taking a green-colored shit while on your period.

"Jan! You need to remember to flush the toilet! I found some of your christmas asswipe in the bowl!"