Contracted Crop Duster

The act of passing wind and having a person or people walk past and crop dust your scent for you.

Scott timed his fart perfectly as Jono walked past thus using Jono as his contracted crop duster to delightfully distribute the scent of his fart to share with others.

put out a contract on

To hire or attempt to hire an assassin to kill (someone)

1) The mob put out a contract on the police informer.

2) Barf shows his muscle by putting out contracts on relatives he hates to kiss. (From "The Simpseones", a parody of "The Simpsons" in Mad Classics magazine).

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Weed Contract

Any contract that is signed while holding in a good hit of marijuana.

step 1: Load a bowl
step 2: Write a contract or have one written for you (in pen!).
step 3: Hit it, hold it, sign it.

I really didn't want to write my paper yesterday, so a packed a bowl and signed a weed contract for it. I got high AND got my paper done, it was awesome.

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blind contract

marriage certificate -weaving the 'state'/church into the equation of two humans who would desire to be 'linked' for any period of time. -pledging to remain the same to the person, without regard to chronological erosion, hidden, unrealized, or subliminal desires.

he signed a blind contract, then went crazy

they signed a blind contract, then both got sloppy fat

after signing a blind contract, realized he was gay

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Second Great Contraction

The worldwide financial crisis of the late 2000s that started with widespread the American subprime mortgage defaults and led to the collapse of many overleveraged Wall Street firms such as Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers. The resultant recession has been deep and both monetary and fiscal policy have taken unprecedented steps in order to curtail its negative impact in efforts to prevent the credit markets from freezing and to stimulate spending.

Everyone keeps comparing the Second Great Contraction to the Great Depression, but only time will tell how similar they truly are.

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fixed-term contract

a fixed-term contract is any contract of employment that will terminate:
-on the expiry of a specific term;
-on the completion of a particular task;
-on the occurrence or non-occurrence of any other specific event other than the attainment of retiring age

This post will be offered as a fixed-term contract with an end date of 30 September 2005

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Behavior Intervention Contract

dumbass way of saying detention used at Park jr high middle school. It is obtained by getting 3 green slips (stupidest shit ever)

(Teacher): Two more green slips and you get a Behavior Intervention Contract
(Me): stfu
(Teacher): shut your sped ass up