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Yo u gonna play hockey
why
my gf wants me to still be able to have kids
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yo man want to watch wwe on ice
what do you mean
i mean hockey
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Best sport ever. No explanation needed besides the comparison of the popularized american garbage referred to as baseball.
Fat Kid: "I love baseball, it makes me feel active and now I can play a sport."
Joey: "After I lost 30 lbs I quit baseball to play hockey and now I know I am actually playing a real sport."
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Some sort of rudimentary sport where white Catholic players are armed with sticks and beat the shit out of each other. I think it is still played in the north somewhere. Since afro's are too smart to live up there where it's too cold to screw, the contests are rarely shown on TV, especially when there's a golf tournament somewhere.
He: "I tell ya, that Wayne Gretzky is the greatest athlete of all time!"
She: "That's 'cause Afro's don't play hockey.
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Pussies need not apply. Hockey players take catastrophic hits (like in football, except the guy is speeding at you twice as fast on skates), are expected to throw their bodies in front of 130km/h slap shots, regularly have bloody fist fights, and players have been known to break a bone on shift and yet stay on the ice only to score a goal...in other sports (HRM soccer HRM) they get pushed on the grass and they grab their chins in 'agony'. Unlike soccer, matches usually end with more than a single goal and four shots on net, and unlike basketball they don't have a hundred points only to have the game decided by a single one... if every basketball game is going to end 90-89 why not let them play for one minute and decide the winner from that. Hockey is the best mixture of both - its fast enough with enough goals and chances to make it exciting when one happens, and there isn't SO many goals that it becomes a non-event when one happens.
"Ya man, I watched the soccer match... it ended nil-nil and pretty much was them kicking the ball around in the center of the field."
"Yaaaaa well I watched basketball. They scored so many goals that I just stopped caring.
"I watched baseball dude. At least, that was before I slipped into the coma."
"Well I watched FOOOOTBAAAALLL RAWWRRRRRR...Rrrrrrr....rrrr...."
"I watched hockey...it was an exciting game all the way through..with 5 goals in total it made each one exciting and game changing without being so few that it becomes pointless to watch the game instead of the highlights...oh and did you see Crosby beat the shit out of Ovechkin?"
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Back in the day there was a shitty sport named hockey that no one watched, but for some reason remained on telivision, then the players decided they wanted more money and the owners said "but we aren't making any money" so the NHL stopped being aired and now the world is finally pure, like when the beubonic plague died out or when the holocaust ended.
Fran "Did you watch the hockey game last night?"
Steve "Are you gay?"
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Soccer played on ice. But instead of a an actual ball used, hockey uses something that came out of a urinal called a puck!
Hockey is not a sport. Hockey is 3 things going on at the same time. Ice skating, playing with a puck, and beating the shit out of someone!
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