proxy husband

A single man who is used as a sex toy and temporary father figure for a woman who's still married but in the process of getting divorced.

Paula was using Tim as a proxy husband until she figured out what she was doing with her life.

His role was one of a proxy husband.

39👍 9👎

ex-husband

1) A malicious vile individual of the male variety who insists on making life of the ex-wife as turbulent, chaotic and unhappy as possible in his undying quest to destroy her completely. Be especially careful if this individual is being friendly as this is a ploy used to get you to let your guard down so he can stab you in the back.

2) Tyrannical douchebag.

3) Soul sucking piece of shit.

4) Self-centered bastard.

5) Bully who preys on those who seeks to escape his clutches

Q: "Are you afraid of going to hell?"
A: "No, I have an ex-husband."

103👍 31👎

husband's bulge

Old-timey, folksome, or religious nutjob's "polite" or naive way of explaining what a boner, visible underneath clothing is. It implies that the speaker doesn't believe sex or sexual desire should happen outside of marriage; so only a husband would have a boner. But "boner" or "erection" are too scandalous and obscene to say.

That guy in class was totally trying to hide his....husband's bulge under his books.

29👍 7👎

husband cute

Being attractive enough to marry in regards to specific categories such as personality, character, specific physical attributes, but not necessarily what one would call "hott" or "sexy".

Despite Dr. Fars overweight stature, his nice eyes and great personality makes him husband cute.

6👍 1👎

Good husband

One who doesn’t text, sext, flirt , call , hide phone number s, secret social media accounts with other women.

When I got married I thought I had a Good Husband....

32👍 7👎

karen's husband

Jeff or Steve, joins his obnoxious wife Karen in demanding to see a manager over the slightest perceived imperfection in service. Wears his socks pulled up with New Balance shoes (don't confuse him with your regular dad-type), drives a Hummer or oversized vehicle and takes up several parking spots every time. Will scream at you if you step on his lawn and won't tip if he thinks you're gay.

Karen's husband: Noun, verb
Manager to server: That Jeff wants you fired for bringing coffee that wasn't hot enough, even though it was fresh out of the carafe.

19👍 4👎

husband beater

form-fitting white ribbed tank top also known as a wife beater, but worn by females.

Girl 1: i went to target the other day and bought a 3-pack of husband beaters!
Girl 2: omg! give me one!

98👍 34👎