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Once a lost and troubled soul trapped in the fourth underworld, Jared became a God to the Aztecs when mysterious life forms descended to Mictlan seeking an ancient rumored power. The citizens of Planet Z spent years traveling through different dimensions only to discover what they sought was not to be found - but created. Jared was chosen by the leader of Z. A few indulgent meanderings and shots of whiskey later, the celestial alignment cast an electric surge between Cancer and Scorpio. The surge was so poignant, tightly bound and focused that Jared became the first being to have successful intercourse with an extraterrestrial, bridging the gap between Gods and Aliens by taking on the role of Daddy: God of The Impossibly Mindblowing Orgasm. The Z leader surrendered to Jared as an object of pleasure for all eternity as an expression of gratitude for helping to create the ultimate sexual energy. Although Jared is immortal, his human form is a specimen of perfection, sexuality and divine masculinity. His generously proportioned reproductive organ was hand sculpted by Zeus with perfection in the style of a male Venus de Milo. Jared excels in all things delicious, and even his humanly procreative fluids are indicated by legend to have an intoxicating flavor as well as healing powers and a magical, iridescent glow.
I could spend forever drinking from a fountain filled by the excited expulsions of Jared.
Jared likes to get real fucked up.
When you first meet him he acts all tough but as you get to know him you realize how much of a softy he is. He is caring, understanding and he’s the cutest smile. It’s impossible not to fall in love with such a perfect guy.
Definition of perfect? Jared
1👍 1👎
Young, metrosexual man usually associated with sports such as Water Polo and Gymnastics. Has a perfect posture and excels at sport.
30👍 22👎
An extremely lovable guy who will go out of his way to make you laugh. Diet consists mainly of BBQ sauce & jager bombs. Likes to entertain himself by playing w/ his own or my butt crack. My cuddle partner for life.
Jared: jager bomb?
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Me: What the hell are you doing?
Jared: Smelling my fingers
Me: Why?
Jared: Because they smell crack-tastic
Me: Of course they do
Jared: Let's go bowling
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Jared yelling out the car window: I'M IN MIAMI BITCH!!
292👍 273👎
Someone who is a great daddy dom. Is funny, caring, sweet, dorky, a dweeb, etc. He will continuously keep you laughing. Makes you blush 1000x over. Will love you forever and keep you safe.
"Look at him, God i love Jared soooooo much!"
5👍 2👎
The smartass person in your group that gets all a's and has a high ego
George: The answer is actually .2, get your facts right
Cacey: Dont be such a Jared
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Jared is a very outgoing person. He tries often to make people notice him and goes to great lengths to do so. On his off time, Jared usually finds himself sleeping or reading a book, or both at the same time. Jared works out often so its no surprise that he's a player.
Did you see that new kid Jared? He seems really smart but he's kinda loud..
5👍 2👎