java log

A fireplace faux-log made mostly from coffee beans.
It is most effective when a handsome blonde-ish man (preferably named Opie) and his male friend (preferably a stupid stand-up comedian with an unclipped cock) light one up and then do the homo thing.

Hey man, let's put on a java log and play a Robert Reed roleplay!

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Java Slut

One who spends a copious amount of time at various coffee shops.

person 1: Where is Kelly?
person 2: It's llpm and she's still at starbucks. She's such a java slut.

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Java Nazi

A derogatory term for those who prefer the Java programming language over C++. Mostly used by C++ programmers, since C, Lisp, and perl fans are not engaged in a direct holy war with Java programmers (Lisp is rivaled by perl, and C is rivaled by assembly).

Sam: "Oh shit. Valgrind says I have 600 megabytes of memory leaks."

Jacob: "Memory leaks? Oh right, C++ doesn't have garbage collection. Why don't you use a REAL language?"

Sam: "Shut up, Java nazi!"

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java jacket

The cardboard sleeve provided by Starbucks to protect one's hands from the heat of the coffee.

Always wear a java jacket.

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java the hut

A fat person who drinks too much fucking coffee. fat

guy1 hey see that fat chick at starbucks sha has had 8 cups of coffee

guy2 i know right she is a total java the hut

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Java Joel

Former Chicago radio host. Best known for his controversial 2003 interview with Justin Timberlake. His William Hung remixes helped usher in a nationwide phenonenom, for better or for worse.
Fired by Clear Channel Communications in 2005 for telling an innocuous racial joke.

Since his firing, Java Joel's favorite station is B96.

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java lava

Molten excrement expelled from bowels as a result of coffee induced gastrointestinal pressure. The viscosity can vary greatly and events are typically accompanied by gaseous explosions.

The substrate upon which the lava has flowed may show signs of scouring, it may be broken or disturbed by the boiling of trapped water.

Pillow lava is the lava structure typically formed when lava is vented in a submarine or subglacial environment.

Java lava is preferred to the improper usage of coffee enema.

That cup of coffee gave me a serious case of java lava!