Microsoft

A comapny that should be called macrohard. They are run by shitbrains and the government is stupid becuase they won't SMASH the monopoly. See Bill Gates

The company is microsoft, but it's also macrohard. Macrohard is more reflective of the company. Microsoft is Macrohard, Firefox will FireGates!

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microsoft

a word used to describe your penis.

arto's dick is just microsoft!!!

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Microsoft Excel

Software created by Microsoft that non-technical people use instead of a database, or cheap companies use as a crappy application studio.

We have 6,000 Microsoft Excel files out there that are exactly identical in reference to the type of data they store. It would be perfect for a database, but we use Excel because the web server we store them on is already paid for by another department and we don't want to pay for a database.

Microsoft Excel VBA applications need to die. You will never get a real programmer to stay around if all you want them to do is build VBA applications with that shit because you are too cheap to buy Visual Studio. This may be why your turnover is so high or your developers lack motivation and ambition to do real work.

My shitty job wants me to program in VBScript and Microsoft Excel VBA. I am looking for a new job because I value my skills and wish to avoid Excel hell.

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Microsoft Teams

The most glitchy app used for distance learning for the COVID-19 Pandemic. Has broken an uncountable amount of students hearts and is guaranteed to not let at least one person in a meeting for every class meeting that exists.

Student- WTF?! I turned in my final but it doesn't show up on Microsoft Teams?!

Teacher- Well I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do about that, I guess it just happens...

Student- Am I going to be able to make this up?

Teacher- Um, no, of course not

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Microsoft Word

a shit piece of tech that ate my FUCKING essay.

Me talking to microsoft word after it ate my fucking essay:"GIVE IT BACK WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU?!!?!?!? I FUCKING NEEDED THAT YOU PILE OF HORSE FECES"

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Microsoft Minutes

Times claimed by Microsoft products to complete tasks (installing products, copying files, etc). Swings both ways, can be greatly exaggerated or massively optimistic.

A- "How long till your done with that OS install?"
B- "About 5 minutes"
A- "Is that Microsoft Minutes?"
B- "Yeh"
A- "See you in an hour"

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Microsoft Points

The currency created by Microsoft for when they take over the world.

"Hey you can't use those Euro's in here!"
"Huh?"
"We only accept Microsoft Points!"

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