One Night Hand

Calling someone up for one night of phone sex with no strings attached and hoping to never speak to them again.

Kiki: So i ended up conecting to the same customer service guy last night.
Mia: Was he any help this time?
Kiki: No but we totally had a One Night Hand!
Mia: OMG Thats so slutty!

1👍 6👎

I can count how many times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand - 8

I don’t know the meaning .because I’m living under a rock :(. I hope someone explains it.

-_- =( sorry.(I can count how many times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand - 8)

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which hand the German guy eats out of.

A reply given to someone who wishes for something because a part of their life is unfair, basically stating that life is full of good and bad things. In essence, wishes mean nothing.

This is the earliest version of the saying, with the reference to Germans eating shit coming from American soldiers in WWII.

You know what they say Ted: Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which hand the German guy eats out of.

22👍 32👎

One in the hand and two in the bush

Verb
1. The sexual act of jerking off with one hand, and pushing your balls into your girlfriend's muff with the other.

"I was with my GF the other day, and I gave her one in the hand and two in the bush.

5👍 2👎

Turn One Out By Hand

verb \ˈtərn\ˈwən\ˈaüt\ˈbī\ˈhand\

a euphemism for masturbation.

Billy: "Where the hell are you going, Josh? You're gonna miss the best part!"
Josh: "Oh...I, uh...I just gotta take piss..."
Billy: "uh huh...well, you just go ahead and turn one out by hand, but I'm not-
Josh: "Fuck you, dude! I told you, I gotta take a piss!"

Billy: "Whatever, but I'm not rewinding it until I'm done. I wanna finish this thing before my parents get home."

Complain on one hand, take a dump in someone's boot on the other hand and see which is more interesting to talk about

A twist on the saying ,"shit in in one hand and ask with the other and see which one gets filled 1st", targeted at complainers and whiners.

Whiney person: Everything sucks as usual.
Me: Complain on one hand, take a dump in someone's boot on the other hand and see which is more interesting to talk about.
Whiney person: That's the last time I complain to you about my life and also why are my boots in the bathroom?

3👍 1👎

One in the hand is worth two in the bush

A solo wank is better than two shags

Do you fancy a shag my lovely? Erm to be honest ' I'm going home to sort myself out ... You know what they say ... One in the hand is worth two in the bush'

1👍 6👎