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Ozzy Osborn bit the head off of a bat. Not to be out done, Chuck Norris bit the head off of Batman. The man is a force to be reckoned with, and if you don't know who he is, don't worry he knows who you are and he's coming for you.
Before the Partwii, Lauren, the cyborg, bus surfed over to Mickey D’s with his brofriend Chuck Norris and bought a McGangbang happy meal with the funds that he jacked from his sugar momma after his disco nap that afternoon. Chuck pulled out his phone from his nuthuggers and started sexting a ginger slice with a tramp stamp that he had been friendly following ever since they shared a game of Jager pong. Lauren gave Chuck the air jerk as he noticed Tanasa the grade digger that sat next to him in his art class. Lauren gave her the “let’s just be friends” nod and grabbed his happy meal. As Lauren walked outside he saw, Bruce, the designated drunk, as he started wailing teenybopper show tunes. Bruce was manstrating again and wanted his fix of Dr. Pepper and Big league chew. The night of celebrating Lauren’s nomotion had barely even started and already he was knackered.
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1) Great martial artist. He'd kick any of your asses.
2) Horrible actor, don't kid yourself. Even HE knows he's not a good actor.
3) Star of many great movies (eg. Missing In Action) and TV shows (eg. Walker Texas Ranger).
4) Center of the internet craze of "Chuck Norris Facts", where people made up one liners about how amazing Chuck Norris is. They were hilarious when they came out in early-mid 2005, but now everyone and their dead grandma has heard these jokes, and they're getting old.
Chuck Norris himself has offered commentary on these jokes:
"I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as 'Chuck Norris facts.' I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, 'Against All Odds?' They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, 'The Justice Riders', released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts."
No matter how many people abuse these jokes, Chuck Norris' tears will ALWAYS cure cancer, yet he will NEVER cry!
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The act of when your having sex with your partner and they don't survive the night. Just like all the girls that slept with chuck norris.
Dude, did you know that Shawna died last night? I heard Dave did a chuck norris with her.
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1) Virtually everyone on Urbandictionary.com hates for some odd reason. (butthurt)
2) An actor
3) A very good martial artist (at least he has the balls to stand up to Bruce Lee)
Don't be butthurt over Chuck Norris
A form of joke that died in 2007, but is still used today by many pseudo-nine-year-olds.
Person 1: Hey dude want to hear a joke?
Person 2: Sure, whatever.
Person 1: Chuck Norris died 20-
Person 2: *shoots Person 1*
A man who can talk to Jesus, he flies trains and drives planes. He LOVES kids and eats children.
Chuck Norris doesn't speak to Jesus, Jesus speaks to him
You can't find him, no matter where you look, but Chuck Norris finds you
Chuck Norris is everywhere, nowhere and in his house