I fuck with my shoes off

What you say to a woman you’re about to fuck when you don’t want to use a condom, so when she says yeah obviously, you’re good.

I brought this young lass home and I told her I fuck with my shoes off
She said “don’t we all”
9 months later there’s my son

god i fucking hate my life

Are you ok? Get some mental help.

you: god i fucking hate my life
me:

First, get up and do something fun. ...
Now, take a dialectical perspective. ...
Consider whether there is something you can change in your life. ...
Get immediate crisis help. ...
Seek long-term professional help.

15👍 1👎

i fucked your mom#6969

One of my best friends on discord

Person A: do you have friends

Person B: yes I have 'i fucked your mom#6969'

2👍 3👎

I fucked your mom shit lips

When Lightning McQueen fucked your mom and made her cheeks go clap.

Connor: I fucked your mom shit lips.
Greg: *cries but in big sad mood*

10👍 4👎

I will fuck you with that

Saying "I will fuck you with that" means I Fuck with that. You will do something with someone. You mess with or are down with something a lot.

That blunt of Sour OG , I will fuck you with that.

29👍 5👎

I fucking eat my pussy bitch

i love to eat pussy and deepthroat dick I suck my grandpas dick and my dads and I eat my moms pussy and suck her boobs

I fucking eat my pussy bitch and i love it

21👍 22👎

I was FUCKING safe!

The most famous words ever uttered in baseball towards the umpire

"What?! he didn't even catch the ball! I was FUCKING safe!"

15👍 4👎