squad wipe

The act of killing an entire enemy team by yourself or with your own teammates

"Lets move to the circle, i just squad wiped the entire team"

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Mansion Wipes

A roll of full-priced, premium-brand paper towels used to wipe down surfaces in your mansion of messes created by lavish cooking, partying, or other deliberately reckless and pretentious behavior. Can also be conspicuously consumed in other ways- as long as they are used with complete disregard to their cost.

Hey! Pass me the roll of mansion wipes (instead of a dish towel or other economically responsible means of drying something) so I can wipe all of this Don Julio, Champagne, shrimp cocktail, and steak residue off the marble counter tops! Who cares how many we use, there are always more!!!

budget wipe

Using both sides of a wad of toilet paper to wipe your ass after taking a shit in order to conserve. Originally considered as a way to save money for frequent shitters by buying less TP but used more often by broke college students or military personnel in the field with limited access to said TP.

Wes: There's only one roll of TP left in the bathroom till payday. Piiiissssss!!!

Nick: Looks like we're gonna have to budget wipe till then man. Shiiiiiiit!!!

secondary wipe

When you take a shit and wipe your ass, but then have to come back like 20 minutes later and wipe your ass again because it itches and there’s still shit on there, that is a secondary wipe.

Damn, my ass was itching and sure enough it was because I needed a secondary wipe.

forever-wipe

those shits that take foreverrr to wipe.

Present-tense usuage:

me *thinking* "damn, i've been in here for over 10 minutes. this is a forever-wipe!"

Past-tense usage:

friend "yo bro were you just jerking off in my bathroom"
me "nah man, i took a shit it was a forever-wipe."
friend "you better get your ass to the store and buy me some toilet paper"

crusty wipe

When you masturbate while having a crap then wipe with the tissue you came in.

I have a sticky ass after that crusty wipe

squad wipe

when a guy hu with the whole friend group.

“yo timmy ran a squad wipe on their whole group”

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