Carpet Sexual

Being physically attracted to a carpet

The carpet sexual made sweet love to the dark gray carpet

red carpet

The pubic hair of a red headed woman.

"He thinks he's getting inside? Please, Bonnie's red carpet is VIP only."

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Shag carpet

A carpet to shag on

"Hey, a shag carpet! I didn't know you two were swingers!"

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carpet dweller

1. Any middle management types who rarely leave their carpeted offices. Generally have no idea how things really get done around the place they work and usually have "big ideas" about workplace improvements that improve nothing and waste untold hours of labor.

2. Any office worker who will do anything they can do to avoid going out onto the production floor among the people who actually get the work done.

Carpet Dweller 1: "We have some ideas for work flow improvements! Should only take about three additional minutes a day!"
Production worker 1: "Three minutes?!? Seriously this will add at least an hour to my day!"
Carpet Dweller 2: "Hey, since you are on your way back out onto the floor, will you take this out to so-and-so? I can't, the hard concrete hurts my knees and I'm right in the middle of updating my FaceBook page? kthanksbye!"

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burned the carpet

Having sex with a woman until her vagina hurts, usually caused by a lack of lubrication.

Manwhore003: Man that bish over there is walkin kinda funny.
Manwhore004: Yeah, I burned the carpet last night, she was out of K-Y.

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Carpet Cruiser

A person that crawls around on the carpet looking for any small amount of drugs they may have dropped while getting high.

Leroy ran out of crack at 3 a.m. It is now 6 a.m. and he is still Carpet Cruising. I saw him smoke three pieces of drywall and one pretzle crumb already. Look at those carpet cruiser rug burns on his knees....so sad

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Eat Carpet

When a man or woman performs oral sex on a woman. The term is more often described with respect to lesbians than heterosexuals. Proper technique involves putting her clit in your mouth and lightly sucking on it while slowly moving your tongue either up and down or in a swirl. It is important to maintain the same speed with the tongue movements. The combined sucking, warmth of the mouth, and tongue will produce orgasms that can last 30 seconds or longer. Some women are able to continue having additional orgasms, while others prefer to stop after one.

Sarah spread Jeniffer's legs and then eat carpet slowly until Jeniffer came and screamed.

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