Unemployment Cooties

fear of interacting with an unemployed person for fear that whatever caused him or her to be unemployed will transfer to you. Originally used by John Stewart on the Daily Show.

After I lost my job, all of my "friends" suddenly became too busy to spend time with me. I guess I have unemployment cooties.

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cootie hunt

why the school nurse sometimes sends people home to have their hair combed out for li'l bitty varmints crawling around in it; also known as Lice Chex.

Seven kids in our room got sent home today for a cootie hunt, Mom, including me!

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cooty cat

A slang term for the vagina.

She got her cooty cat tore up.

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booty cooties

Having an accumulation of crabs in one's ass-hair jungle.

Girl 1: Girl, Susan and I were scissoring last week' and now I think I have booty cooties.

Girl 2: Welcome to the jungle (to the tune of guns n roses)

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cooter cooties

Sexually transmitted diseases AKA STD's.

Before I went on the date with my new girlfriend my mother told me to "wear a condom cuz she might have cooter cooties"

cootie stamp

after ejaculating into a vagina, the woman presses her gooey snatch against a guys bare leg or wherever available, leaving a cummy wet spot.

Ben: ewww! what the fuck is that!?
Halie: (pulling away with a slosh sound) hahahaha!!!
Ben: oh my God, did you just cootie stamp me?

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cooty queen

A female being that is extremely ugly and no one likes her.

Eww! Who's that cooty queen.

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