Slang used for someone with celulite on their bum, it gives the effect of a crumpet! Also a built up residue of anal crap due to lack of ass wiping abilities
Lad: holly hell look at that crumpet bum over there! She aint been ass wiping
Noun - Masturbating while crying; jerkin' with tears in your eyes.
After Brob was dumped by Luke, he couldn't help but give himself a soggy crumpet.
Jeff's nightly activities consist of pizza alone and a soggy crumpet before bed.
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"Oi govna, cheerio then yeah?"
"I don't understand what you're saying you god damn crumpet nigger"
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A crunchy ring of residue buuilt up around the anus. The result of poor ass wiping.
His ass is full of ass crumpets.
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A greeting to a good friend.2 a dried piece of crap.
Hey shit crumpet!
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Pinning somebody down on their back and holding their arms down while another person drops his pants and rubs his anus and testicles on the pinned person's face
"You better back off or we'll give yo ass the English crumpet"
Person 1: "Why is he puking?"
Person 2: "Because that boy just got an English crumpet"
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Refers to when a man has finished fucking a chick and pulls out his dick, then proceeds to take a dump on her pussy before taking a step back and pissing on it. In doing so resembling a very mustardy crumpet.
The other night Chris accidentally walked in on his sister Steph getting a mustard crumpet from her boyfriend.
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