Bouncing goldfish

When someone clearly high on drugs is trying to convince you they are clean and sober.

Ty: Seriously, i just had one beer.

Alex: Stop bouncing goldfish you muppet, you schnarfed a line off my tit half an hour ago.

George Bush never inhaled? bet he never bounced a goldfish either!

told me he needs cash to fix his car.... Goldfish bouncing motherfucker doesn't even have a car!

Goldfish Murderer

Allan Kumpulainen

Luke: How is your Goldfish going?
Sim: Oh, Allan was over so it's DEAD!
Luke: I heard about him.
Sim: Yeah he is a Goldfish Murderer.

Goldfish container

The bag/container that is almost impossible to open because when you open it, not all of the cardboard rips which causes there to be a thin layer of cardboard covering the hole. You will have to stab the cardboard layer and rip it open to be able to eat your delicious goldfish. After opening it, the goldfish still smile at you even though you are mad.

*Attempts to open the goldfish container like a milk carton*
Aw crap, the container did it again!
*Pulls out a giant knife from the knife holder and stabs the container 10 times*
Ugh, I hate these stupid containers!

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Poser Goldfish

Someone who is trying to act like a goldfish, but isn't. Also, a person who nobody loves and they weren't hugged much as a kid.

Person 1: My mommy told me I am a little crumb snatcher.
Person 2: THATS BECAUSE YOU'RE A POSER GOLDFISH THAT NO ONE LOVES!!!

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Goldfish Syndrome

being bored very easily as well as being easily amused; anything will catch your attention, so you loose your train of thought, that and you have the attention span of a goldfish

classic Goldfish Syndrome:
hi i'm sam. do you like my bowl? oh look sea puff!
hi i'm sam do you like my bowl? oh look a sea puff!

hey, do you like - oooooo shiny!

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two goldfish

sarcastic way of saying you don't care when people are talking about things no one cares about.

I bought some new shoes today." "I have two goldfish." "What?" "Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about stuff no one cares about.

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Goldfish-ism

goldfish-ism is a temporary disease that effects your memory in the short term, in short

It’s a condition of memory loss but not really that serious

“Did you do your homework? “
“No I’m sorry I forgot, I have goldfish-ism”

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