Ate my balls

"Ate my balls" or "I ate my balls" is an expression in the standup comedy community, whereby a comedian goes on stage and attempts to make an audience laugh, and fails miserably, also known as "bombing."

This can be due to either:

The comedian performing the material poorly.

-Or-

An obnoxious, aggressive, or just generally shitty crowd, or rather, that the crowd and the comedian weren't meshing, weren't on the same page comedically.

The expression is used in both cases. The expression seems to be popular with, and may have originated with comedians from the East Coast, particularly Boston; Bill Burr and Jim Norton are examples of comics who frequently use the expression.

"Man this last open mic was brutal, I got up there and ate my balls in front of 20 other angry comics who looked like they were paid to be there."

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my balls are on fire

when you have to piss real bad

is that bathroom open i'm about to piss on this carpet,my balls are on fire.

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hummer my balls

When a worthy dame manipulates your nut-sack with her tongue and lips.

"Hummer my balls bitch"

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Wash My Balls

Why don't you bugger off

I'm not interested, wash my balls

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sweating my balls

If somebody desires physical interaction of a sexual nature with you, they are sweating your balls.

"See that chick over there? She's totally sweating my balls"

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Pulling my balls

A slang used when someone is just messing around with you

Tim: Dude, did you do your homework?
Jimmy: We didn't have homework. Dude quit pulling my balls

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Lickin’ my balls

When you’re having a great time with your friends and something’s about to happen that’s gonna be real nice.

R.J.: “Colt how you feeling about these jagerbombs?”
Colt: “Man I’m lickin’ my balls right now I’ll tell you what.”
Ron: “Real nice buddy.”