Random
Source Code
Random
An employee who maintains a position at a company despite the fact that all of his job duties have been reassigned to other employees. This could be by the ghost's own design or due to restructuring within the department.
Office Ghosts are particularly effective when they have a big title that comes with an assistant, and a boss in another location because no one is really sure what they do all day, but they still have the ability to step up and take credit once a project is completed.
Employee: I was looking for Michael. Have you seen him?
Assistant: I think he's in his office but I'm not sure since he always has the door closed. Let me check.
Assistant: No, he's not in there. He might be in a meeting.
Employee: He's like the office ghost. I can never find him when I need to talk with him. What does he do all day?
Assistant: Honestly I have no idea. You tell me when you figure it out and we'll both know.
1939👍 306👎
Officer Zaddy means hot af officer of the law. He is also named Tim Bradford from the rookie.
"What is an officer zaddy?" Asks Tim Bradford to his best friend Angela Lopez.
"It means a hot af cop. That you want to be your zaddy."
Tim spits out his coffee in shock.
A phrase of (presumably) Russian origin that is used as an offensive description of a regular office worker. The punch comes from the fact that experienced office workers are completely stripped of their personalities and idiosyncrasies, concerned or interested about nothing outside their comfy cubicles, making their appearance similar to that of plankton - mindless and expressionless creatures at the bottom of food chain left at the mercy of those higher up.
14 yo. George: the last thing I want to become when I grow up is office plankton like my parents - they seem miserable and completely powerless. This sucks!
When a girl has a great body but a gigantic ass. Girls who sit at an office desk all day tend to have all the fat on their body gravitate toward the ass-ular region, hence-office ass.
That girl sitting in cubicle 7 was so fine until she stood up and revealed a case of office ass so severe, it looked like two baby elephants were being born in her jeans.
115👍 14👎
Office canary: a worthless or virtually worthless employee who will definitely be fired before you, but if that person does get fired, you had better look out.
Very similar to the canarys miners would take into the mine with them to warn them about poison gas. If the canary died, it was time to get out of dodge…
Where did the girl go that sat near the door?
She got let go and now I'm worried as she was my office canary.
11👍 1👎
When you are in a room (office, classroom, etc.) without an attractive person, so you choose someone that you can pretend is attractive just for the sake of having someone to oggle at.
Jade: "Wow, Marla. That guy over there is super hot!"
Marla: "Uh... Dude, I think you have a severe case of Office Syndrome."
A prematurely rotund and often sagging backside due to sitting all day, everyday at your office desk job, possibly bored to narcolepsy. Sadly is likely to occur in otherwise physically fit and healthy young males/females.
" It's a real shame, she's an attractive girl, nice body- only in her twenties-but buttocks practically on the floor. Office bottomitus."