crowd salmon

When a group of people are all moving in one direction, like into a bar or concert, the one or two people who are moving in the opposite direction of the crowd bumping into everyone and getting in the way, like a salmon swimming upstream.

example 1:
"this guy just bumped into me and made me spill my beer, what a fucking crowd salmon"

example 2:

person 1 "whats this guys problem, hes getting in everyones way"

person 2 "hes a god damn crowd salmon, he loves it"

Salmon Tail

The act of slapping the inner thighs of another person rapidly with one hand, imitating the motion of a salmon's tail swimming up-stream.

"I was standing at the bar, sipping my drink, keeping my cool, when I suddenly got salmon-tailed and was no longer able to maintain a stoic composure."

"There is nothing that breaks the ice better than giving a salmon tail"

Salmon Gram

A Salmon Gram is similar to an old fashion telegram, or a flower delivery to a person or business, but the flowers are replaced with a whole salmon fish (head and tail). A delivery man responds with a long stem rose box complete with a bow. As the receiver of the Salmon Gram eagerly and excitedly awaits his or her message, the delivery man takes out the Salmon and beats the receiver over the head and face repeatedly, then exits in a calm fashion.

I hate that dumb broad, if she doesn't watch out, she is gonna get a "Salmon Gram."

If that dumb broad try's to tell me how to do my job one more time, she is gonna get a "Salmon Gram" to the dome piece!

salmon sleeper

When a man punishes a woman's vagina so hard and violently that she falls asleep afterwards

Hey your wife is still asleep, she went to bed early didn't she? Yeah but we had some good sex last night must have gave her the salmon sleeper.

bog salmon

A poo that refuses to flush away. ie it swims against the tide to its natural birthplace

God, you'd think Anne would know better. I went into the toilet immediately after her only to be greeted by her bog salmon.

22👍 2👎

salmon cock

When you fuck a bitch and then your dick reeks like dirty fish!

"I think i have a bad case of salmon cock"...."I can smell that shit a mile away"

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Bike Salmon

A cyclist that puts themselves at risk by cycling into traffic or "against the stream".

Friend (driving car): "Dude I think I just hit something. I felt a bump."
You:"Probably just a bike salmon."