turd animals

A childhood game, carried all the way into adulthood, typically played by ‘only children’ who learn very early on to amuse themselves with everyday occurrences such as taking a poop and then turning it into a game by staring into the toilet to determine what animal their fabulous turd most closely resembles.

Since I’m now fairly well-known for so many incredible things, I’ve posted just a few of my more recent turd animals for my followers who may be interested in joining me to admire this small sample of my most unique and potentially collectible floating brown sculptures.

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plow turd

The pile of snow remaining around your car after the snow plow clears the street.

I have to go clear the plow turd around my car, before it freezes.

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Turd Split

When a woman, or man, takes a shit while wearing a thong, causing it to split in two.

I woke up last night and instead of going to the bathroom, I took a turd split.

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Turd Chunk

1. A derrogatory term with refrence to Turds.
2. Something that was/is not crappy, but not good either.
3. A smaller portion of a Turd

See also Turd

1: Hey! You're a Turd Chunk!
2: That movie was such a Turd Chunk!
3: I took a dump yesterday, but it was only a little Turd Chunk.

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Bird turd

A Caucasian person

Look at that bird turd over there with the khakis and plaid shirt.

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turd thirty

Referring to having to take a shit

Fred: Move Steve, it's turd thirty, I gotta do work.

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shiniest turd

The best looking thing amongst a group of terrible things. Even though it may look good when compared to those other things, it's really nothing to be excited about. It's the best of worst.

Person 1: Hey Microsoft released Windows 7! It's their best OS yet!
Person 2: Yeah whatever, it's just the shiniest turd in the box.

Person 1: Did you check out those hillbilly women over there? they're all ugly but one actually has all her teeth!
Person 2: That would make her the shiniest turd in the box!

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