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It's the mystical spirit that turns your soft serve into rock candy.
When everyone's asleep,
the Morning Wood Fairy comes at night,
she makes our sausages hard,
and vanishes out of sight.
I woke up in the morning,
and I got up to pee
but then I last discovered
my sapling turned into a tree.
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The process by which a male obtains a condom and proceeds to urinate and ejaculate into it. The condom is sealed and inserted into the vagina of a sleeping girlfriend or wife. The surprise is completed when the male attempts to give her an Alabama Hot Pocket causing the condom to explode.
guy #1: yo that bitch is trippin, b.
guy #2: thats why i gave her a monday morning surprise and got the fk out of there.
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The morning-after pancake is served to your partner after you've had intercourse and you're not sure if you wore a condom or if she was on the pill. It is essentially a morning-after pill mixed into the pancake batter.
Hey, I fucked Kelsey last night and I don't remember wearing a condom so I made her some morning-after pancakes.
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morning wood is often caused by the lack of realese from the male testicales because you cant masturbate in your sleep so you will wake up with a morning wood and stick in dans cats arse hole and plumet it into the propelar of a girafes snake then blast a moon shop while walking to the fish and accidentily stand on the eifil tower wich suddenly rams up your arse hole because it turns out the eiffil tower had morning wood as well so then it spun you around and you fly to tescos and get a meal deal because your very exaughsted from fucking dans cat
i woke up with a fat stiffy and got caught with it half way in dans cat wich fixed my morning wood then it poked back up and i realised i wasnt finished so i stuck it in dans fish for a final time and raped it in to a coma turns out i fucked its gills not its arse now i have meningitase
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adj. - When one wakes before the sun rises; it is still dark when one gets out of bed.
"I can't stay out late tonight, I've got an Afro morning tomorrow."
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Flat shoes that can roll up and fit easily into a purse so that a girl won't have to do the walk of shame in her heels from the night before.
Thank god I brought my morning after flats to the party last night, otherwise I would have had to walk home from that rando's house in stilettos the next morning.
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When you wake a girl up with your balls dangling in a teabag over her face. She opens her eyes to the sight (and touch) of your fleshy scrotum and, screaming, tries to swat it away. But like any good Boy Scout, you've come prepared. You've shat in her hands so when she brings them to her face to defend herself, she smears your cocoa butter all across her face. Then, you spray her in the eyes with 'OFF!'. (Use a liberal amount to give off the feeling of a true campout.)
Jon - "Dan, you gotta help me out here. Holly and I are out of variations to spice up our sex life."
Dan - "Why don't you take her camping?"
Jon - "She's not really into the outdoors."
Dan - "You don't have to be outdoors to give a good morning camper, my friend."
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