A derogatory name for a homosexual implying that one holds a testicle sack in their hand.
“Aw do you know that Dave Andrews?”
“Aw yeah he was a total muffin clutcher”
The really ugly and/or fat girl that hangs out with the very attractive girls. The attractive girls will still say that the unattractive girl is "cute". The couch muffin will go EVERYWHERE with the attractive ones.
"Dude, the chick Charlotte tried to hook me up with is a total couch muffin!"
"Man that sucks! Why does Charlotte have such an unattractive friend, when all the others are amazingly attractive?"
A large gay man who is muscular and kind. Typically with little body hair.
Jeff is such a muscle muffin.
A alien of a cute starfish-like appearance that kills its prey by cuddling it (suffocating it with its tentacles).
Person 1: Did you hear? Cuddle Muffins are invading Earth
Person 2: That doesn't sound bad at all
Person 1: *gets cudlled by a Cuddle Muffin*
Person 2: Oh...
Euphemism for sexual intercourse; specifically with a female. Alternatively, when you buy a muffin for later and is destroyed due to being left in a soft sided container.
"Dude, I heard he totally crushed her muffin last summer... that's why they don't talk anymore."
"Awww, I crushed the muffin... I really wanted that..."
Someone who punches someone else's muffin. (Face,pussy,ass,etc.)
Seth punched sal in the muffin, he's quite the muffin puncher.muffin punch
Ian punched Melissa's muffin until she couldn't walk, he's a grade A muffin puncher.muffin punch
Her muffin fuzz was out of control worse than a 70 s bush.