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On the eve of a day that's forgotten and fake,
And the trees they await and clouds anticipate,
The start of a day when we put on our face,
A mask that portrays that we don't need grace,
On the eve of a day that is bigger than us,
But we open our eyes 'cause we're told that we must,
And the trees wave their arms and the clouds try to plead,
Desperately yelling there's something we need,
I'm not free, I asked forgiveness three times,
Same amount that I denied, I three-time mvp'ed this crime,
I'm afraid to tell you who I adore, won't tell you who I'm singing towards,
Metaphorically I'm a whore, and that's denial number four.
I'll stay awake,
'Cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight.
Why am I not scared in the morning?
I don't hear those voices calling,
I must have kicked them out, I must have kicked them out,
I swear I heard demons yelling,
Those crazy words they were spelling,
They told me I was gone, they told me I was gone.
But I'll tell them,
Why won't you let me go?
Do I threaten all your plans?
I'm insignificant,
Please tell them, you have no plans for me,
I will set my soul on fire, what have I become?
I'll tell them, you have no plans for me,
I will set my soul on fire,
What have I become?
I'll tell them,
I'll tell them,
I'll tell them,
I'll tell them,
Please tell them, you have no plans for me,
I will set my soul on fire, what have I become?
I'm sorry.
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To be as horny as hell, to be in such heat that you can't stop it from erecting.
Dude 1: Look at those hookers with busty hooters!!!
Dude 2: Oh man, stop talking to me. I'm all dick.
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When your crush doesn't text you back
"i'm still here"
"sry i was texting my boyfriend
"..."
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The urinal you leave open between yourself and another dude when pissing in a bathroom. A violation of this rule, when there are plenty of urinals, shows that you are gay.
I guess that dude isn't gay, he left the "i'm not gay" urinal open.
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A phrase which racists use to alert the listener that they're about to say something racist.
I'm not racist but I sure do hate niggers.
I'm not racist but we should definitely gas the kikes.
I'm not racist but I wholeheartedly agree with the White Australia policy.
I'm not racist but all crackers should be rounded up and shot.
I'm not racist but I don't see what's so bad about being separate but equal.
I'm not racist but the American and Canadian governments were perfectly justified in their treatment of indiginous people
I'm not racist but Japan's actions in China were justified.
I'm not racist but it was a good thing when Britain ruled over India.
I'm not racist but Arabs have no place in Indian society.
I'm not racist but Hitler made some very good point.
I'm not racist but I'm a member of the Ku Klux Klan, the Aryan Brotherhood, and the American Nazi Party.
I'm not racist but I am 100% racist.
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An expression of agreement. Don't pull out your grammar books with this one.
Very often said before the person you're agreeing with has completely finished thier sentence.
The though is usually pronounced doe.
A-The Spurs winning the championship, mayne.
B-Man the Spurs are the most boring team I ever seen. I seen Tim Duncan yawn twice the last time he posted up.
A-Man, whatever works, that shit wins championsh--
C-I'm sayin' though!
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Said after solving a taxing problem or difficult issue at work, 'cause after that you definitely deserve a break. Or even better if it wasn't so difficult or taxing, 'cause hell yeah you're going on break anyway!
I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender....all you do is say what the shit does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shit fresh. Well that's a fresher....I'm going on break.
- Mitch Hedberg
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