rim job

when you go to the car wash and you want to get your rims all bling blingin' you ask the guy for a rim job

"I went to the car wash today and got a rim job now they be so clean you can see your reflection"

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mind job

When one's mind is blown.
Instead of, "That blows my mind," You say, "You just gave me a mind job."

Also known as an MJ

Someone tells a wild story, you say: "You just gave me the best mind job. Nice work."

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job security

Anything that may influence circumstances so that one may continue in one's current employment, regardless whether the job actually needs to be performed.

See legislator, lawyer, self-serving, and conflict of interest.

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bump job

Paying a homeless man to allow an individual to snort a line of cocaine off of his erect penis. After all cocaine is consumed, the homeless man proceeds to give said individual fellatio. Upon completion of fellatio semen is delivered into the hobo's beard.

Guy 1: hey man you know what sounds good tonight?
Guy 2: what?
Guy 1: a couple bump jobs from Frank behind the pier
Guy 2: you read my mind bro

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Lo Job

The act of receiving oral sex while the female (or male in some cases of homosexuality) has a mouth full of orange chicken.
Soy sauce may be added for an extra kick.

Babe, lets go to panda express and when we get home you can give me a lo job.

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hose job

(Noun) Any attempt that has resulted in utter failure.

If a friend seriously injures themself after yelling "Hey guys watch this!" it is considered to be a hose job.

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Cobble Job

The act of using another persons prosthetic limb (be it an arm or a leg) as a mastabatory aid.

Mikes future employment at the hospital was put into futher doubt when his boss got wind of his daily cobble jobs

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