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Name One Reason Why I Came Here:
Norwich, placed in Northfield, VT, is a private military school filled with faux pride, rampant homosexuality, massive stick-up-the-ass syndrome, terrible internet, and the best prison-food you will ever eat.
The slogan "Norwich Forever" alludes to either the stids you will never get rid of, the financial ruin you can never recover from, or the horrid images you can never unsee.
Incidentally, you may want to sow a condom on your dick.
Cadet 1: Man, Norwich is so gay, I could roast marshmallows on these flames.
Cadet 2: Norwich forever, bro.
Professor: Why did you attend Norwich University?
Student: Uh, well, it's.... ugh, it's got my major? kind of? Uhm... I... uh... I don't really know.. Norwich, you know?
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A Roblox JoJo game, it's ironic, they have a poop stand, a toilet stand, and a trans stand, what more could you ask for?
Wanna play an unoriginal universe?
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A post-secondary institution in Toronto where people go to get a piece of paper that is supposed to earn them a tiny bit of prestige.
Pros: Some nice architecture, pretty flexible due dates (in the humanities at least), central location, profs usually know what they're talking about, huge ass libraries.
Cons: Some ugly-as-shit buildings, elitist/bitchy classmates (who also come with a hint of classism), nonexistent social scene.
Neutral: Profs mark a bit harder compared to other institutions, but with loose due dates it doesn't actually make a difference.
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StudentA: Where are you going next year?
StudentB: I'm going to the University of Toronto! So prestigious, eh?
StudentA: Well, I'm going to "insert Ivy League here", so suck it.
StudentB: T.T
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The "THANK YOU" American University List
1. THANK YOU AU for making me wait 45 minutes for shuttle and additional 30 minutes while driver takes a shit
2. THANK YOU AU for closing health center on the weekends so I can cough blood in my room without treatment
3. THANK YOU AU for building gym as small as possible for 5000 undergrads
4. THANK YOU AU for taking Jamba Juice out and replacing it with Pure Vida, THAT REALLY MAKES FUCKING SENSE
5. THANK YOU AU for hiring prison inmates as full time employees
6. THANK YOU AU for lying to potential applicants during tours by saying that current AU students have rights and influence on school
7. THANK YOU AU for having any food vendor on campus open late at night
8. THANK YOU AU for signing 16 year contract with "bon appetite" to give us more moldy bread and 13 different types of potatoes per day
9. THANK YOU AU for blackboard which is the fucking worst system ever created and I AM SO PROUD that AU alumni created it
10. THANK YOU AU for still having school on major holidays like President's Day THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE CONSIDERING WE ARE IN D.C. AND EVERY OTHER SCHOOL IN DISTRICT HAS OFF
AU STUDENT "Hey AU, can I set up a lemonade stand outside MGC since its such a hot day?
AU ADMIN "Sorry kid, American University doesn't let students do anything unless you fill out these 35 forms and get the signatures of every government official in our administration. We'll probably get back to you in 5 months with our response. In the meantime, just go to TDR and drink some of our all natural watered down minute-maid lemonade."
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A scam, soul sucking shit hole where dreams come to die.
A: hey im going to the University of Bristol next year
B: my condolences
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The school with filthy rich kids. The students love to wear gucci and prada. They roll around Boston in their exotic cars and do cocaine. They have no academic motivation because they got rejected from all other schools and they will just get their degree in business. Eventually they will take over daddy's and continue to make millions or even billions if they happen to be part of that jet set royalty middle eastern crowd.
Jason must go to Boston University because his parents are filthy rich, he drive a bentley, wears prada and does cocaine. He sure as hell doesn't care about academics.
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A large, public university located in the city of Austin.
Commonly referred to as UT.
The only thing larger than the size of this school may be their ego. UT students think they are the best school in the state, and greatly look down upon Texas A&M. Many UT kids believe that the A&M students are just UT rejects, but in reality the Aggies are the ones who got accepted into both schools and chose the one in which provides a great education, a humble and friendly group of students, and an overall more welcoming and safe environment. Plus, Maroon beats Burnt Orange any day of the week.
Me: I'm going to Texas A&M.
Longhorn: you must've been rejected from the University of Texas.
Me: Actually I was accepted into the University of Texas. It was my fallback school in case I didn't get into A&M. Now please, go change out of that burnt orange shirt before I stab a fork into my eye.
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