Random
Source Code
Random
Homemakers who have a whole shitload of kids because they don't know how to use birth control and instead of working, they spend their weeks and summers shuttling them around in their death trap SUV's to their various activities. They're usually extremely protective when it comes to their kids and try to protect them in every way possible.
I refuse to become a soccer mom. I'm having two kids, total and they'll have one activity each.
40👍 14👎
30-50 year old moms, usually living in the suburbs. They usually have about 2-3 kids, and drive them around everywhere in large ass gas guzzling SUVs with bumper stickers saying "My little fuck of a child is an honor roll student at ____ Middle School". Apparently it's impossible to fit two fucking kids in anything less than a car that seats seven.
They stay at home most of the time, working around the house, hauling their kids everywhere to anything like soccer to fucking astronaut school. Oh, and about their kids: The children of soccer moms are their fucking pride and joy, their "angels". They must have the best grades, be the most popular, be the best at soccer, you name it. The kids must be shielded from anything bad, like the occasional "hell" from that sitcom you watch to sex ed at school. They lack freedom of expression as the moms must not let them be able to do anything exciting in life, because apparently going on the internet turns them in to bad people. Which is funny, because half the time they grow up to be lonely shitholes that die from binge drinking or ODing on drugs. So they are not allowed to watch any TV shows rated over TV-G, can only go on the internet for 30 minutes each week with super parental controls turned on, and cannot play any video games over the rating E, even as teenagers.
Religion: The soccer mom is a hard core christian, and anything that is not 100% christian in any way is considered satanic, like TV shows, and ESPECIALLY music. Yep, they're only allowed to listen to boring country christian music shit.
Soccer moms don't do shit besides destroy the environment, take up space, and raise children totally wrong. Their husbands on the other hand, make $80K a year with some job he's always at, most likely fucking his hot co-worker the whole time.
Fuck soccer moms, they are the scum of this Earth and are a disgrace to the name of freedom and expression.
Look at that soccer mom, what a fucking bitch
27👍 8👎
A woman who usually wears jeans and tennis shoes, drives a mini-van with a little Jesus fish on the back, and is partly responsible for keeping violent shows off TV and C.D.s with cursings out of the music store. They frequently protest anything that they think will "harm" children and act like pinko commie bastards.
I hate soccer moms!
68👍 27👎
A mom who is emotionally insestuous with her sons
Gf: His mom acts like she's jealous we're together
Friend: yeah she's a total boy mom
128👍 41👎
Contrary to what one would think a soccer mom is not the equivalent of an older football groupie outside North America. They may have secret fantasies about Becks but the name comes from driving their kids to soccer practice in their SUVs or minivans. They are almost always upper middle class or upper class and usually white. They tend to be paranoid about any sort of sex, drugs, smoking, or obscene content in movies or music. Politically speaking they're usually Republicans (although not usually religious right type Repubs, they tend more towards being Giuliani/Bloomberg/Arnold type GOPers) in red areas or they're DLC-type Dems ((i.e. Joe Lieberman, Hillary Clinton) in Dem areas. They usually live in suburbs or exurbs although there are some that live in urban areas.
You know this area changed once the soccer moms moved in and they're trying to close down all the bars and nightclubs because they're scared about their kids.
35👍 13👎
1) A substitute for the "your mom" punchline of a 'yo momma' style joke. Used among friends to prevent from offending one another during a good volley of good-natured mother-insults.
2) An alcoholic beverage popular among the Los Angeles nightclub and bar scenes. A "Brett's Mom" is prepared differently be every bartender and described only as "something that smells skanky and goes down easy." Bartenders are given creative license to prepare a surprise concoction of their own invention whenever the drink is ordered and many of them take great pride in the originality of their respective recipes which are sometimes even served flambe as a "Flaming Brett's Mom"
3) A highly sought after strain of indica-based marijuana grown in Northern California. "Brett's Mom" is known to induce an energetic and euphoric high often discussed among aficionados with remarks such as "Air body get did good by Brett's Mom"
1) "What's the difference between the Mojave Desert and Brett's Mom? The Mojave is easier to get wet and a hell of lot easier to get across."
2) "Excuse me, bartender, could I get two Brett's Moms?" "Uh... what's in that?" "It's up to you, really. It's just something that smells skanky and goes down easy."
3) "Hey man, did you bring Brett's Mom? I'll trade you some L.A. Confidential for some of that."
28👍 9👎
A soccer mom literally means a mom that picks up her kid(s) after soccer practice. However, the term has come to mean the notion of a white married female in the age range of 30-49 with 1 or more children in an American suburb. She is typically thought to be concerned only about her own welfare and that of her children often at the peril of others. This selfish attitude is typified by their bad driving habits, and driving unnecessarily large vehicles like SUVs, which shows their carelessness about concepts like protecting the environment. The are typically but not always Republican, which is another example of their lack of care for the rest of humanity. They prefer Republican over Democratic usually because they believe the Republican party spares them from having to pitch in to help the needy in society, that the Republican party "protects" them better against terrorists and foreign threats, and that the Republican party is more "godly" and against abortion and homosexuals. The last point was actually exploited greatly by George Bush in his last two elections as his campaign appealed to Soccer Moms sense of vulnerability numerous times. Indeed, if it wasn't for the vote of Soccer Moms, Bush may never have been re-elected.
They may also be blindly right-wing Christian. They blindly believe in a religion handed to them by their parents. They have never questioned it, or deeply thought about it. They simply know they are Catholic, Protestant, or Evangelical, and so will be their kids. They are afraid of people of color, other religions, and any thing other than suburban, white, republican, heterosexual, middle or upper-class, christian, and "American" (which is a bigot's definition of American).
Soccer Moms, are usually the next phase of the life of a "gold-digger" after she lands a financially well-off male to live off of.
The millions of Soccer Moms that voted to elect Bush in 2000 and 2004 because they wanted "God" in American life and were afraid of terrorists hurting their kids.
48👍 18👎