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I'm always mindfucked by The Alaskan Pancake Pile Driver Upside Down Milk Machine
11👍 8👎
Whenever you defecate, freeze said human waste, and use it as a dildo.
girl: omg can we do an alaskan stinker?
guy: wtf no
The Alaskan McGuyver is when a man living in cold regions finds it difficult to jack off because his fingers have turned into icicles. He proceeds to put his bottle of lubricant of choice into the microwave at 100 percent power for 45 seconds to achieve a comfortable heat level and consistency for his subsequent jerk off sesh to Eskimo porn.
Always remember it's 0:45 not 4:50 on the timer and microwave cooking times may vary.
We got the first snow of the year tonight. My hands are so cold I'll have to pull an Alaskan McGuyver before I fire up pornohub.com.
give birth in a tub of your partners shit
wow that alaskan tub birth made me horny!
A group of close mates who gather to consume the sweet Peruvian powder cocaine. Hitting the slopes with such ferocity Pablo Escobar shakes in his grave. consuming more 8 balls than a pool table at the local dive bar, Alaskan Bobsledders kingdom is the handicap stall. They do not take bumps, but have rather adopted the practice of the Caprisun, a straw directly into the bag.
"I couldn't take a shit at the bar all night, the Alaskan Bobsledders were in town and wouldn't leave the stalls"
Alaskan Nachos are an unholy combination of seared cod, mushrooms, bleu cheese, kalamata olives, dijon mustard, tomatoes, and sriracha wrapped in an unasuming cheese quesadilla. Eaten with a horseradish sauce to really tie together the atrosity of a meal you are consuming.
Chris: "Ooh, let me get a bite of that Alaskan Nachos"
David: "No way man, I need every last bite of this glorious delicacy"
When a woman proceeds to throw snow on a mans cock and give him an indian burn style hand job.
I was on a buisness trip to alaska and found hooker for the night and she gave me an alaskan snow twister. I woke up sore the next day.