monkey fuck

v. to light a cigarette with one that is already burning. (I take issue with the other definition because it does not use the phrase verbally)

Sheila monkey fucked my cigarette.

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monkey puzzle

Also known as a black transvestite - one that is very feminine and suited to the transvestual environment wearing a lot of, but not excessive make-up. Can be very confusing to a Briggsy when plied with alcohol. This term can also be applied when observing a wealthy black individual who has made his wealth legally.

I fancy those two dancing over there, they're quite fit. Don't you realise they're trannies? Oh, right, I am quite drunk I guess. Don't use drink as your excuse mate, you're a tranny chaser and don't deny it. You're the victim of a monkey puzzle.

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monkey Hanger

A person coming from Hartlepool or supporting the football club Hartlepool United (the greatest football team in the world) This refers to an incident during the Napoleonic wars when a French ship sank off the Hartlepudlian coast. The only suvivor was the ships monkey which was assumed to be French ashe (or she was talking gibberish) , tried for treason against the British crown and promptly hanged. So there Still it's better than being a fookin' Darlo fan (up yer ass George)

Monkey hangers are the greatest people in the world unlike Mackems and Darlo fans both of whom smell since they don't wash

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Albino monkey

It's a derogatory term to refer to a White guy or girl. Because White people are hairy like monkeys.
The Japanese use the term shiro-saru, which translates to Albino monkey to refer to a White American or European. Native Americans, Latinos, and Asians use the term Albino monkey in their own languages.

Native American - look at that ugly Albino monkey.
Asian - Look at that Albino monkey eating bananas.
Japanese - That Albino monkey shiro-saru can sure climbed a tree.

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Spunk monkey

A girl who, whilst normal in other sexual respects, makes ape-like sounds when receiving sperm in her face.

Yeah! She squealed like a spunk monkey!

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angry monkey

After/while fisting someone in the arse, you pull out a lump of shit and smear it in their face

"Oh look, Fahzan got angry monkeyed by his dad again"

"Oh look, Albenus got angry monkeyed by his dad again"

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scut monkey

A medical student or resident forced to do mindless work by a supervising physician.

"Dr. Wilson won't let you help with the delivery; he'll just use you as a scut monkey."

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