International Time to have sex

The international time to have sex is 7:40

If the time hits 7:40, its the international time to have sex

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I have a gold fish

A phrase you use when people tell you things that you don't give two inches of a crap about.

Dave: Hey, hows it going?
Girl at Bar: Ummm, I have a Boyfriend so....
Dave: Really? I have a gold fish.
Girl: Ok???
Dave: Ya, I thought we were talking about things that don't matter.

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We'll have to smoke the dress

Phrase said in Mad Men when something such as marijuana or alcohol is spilled on any surface.

"It's all over the rug" "we'll have to smoke the dress" (Mad Men s4: e3)

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schmidty would have had it

A phrase that many Philadelphia Phillies fans use whenever one of their third basemen can't make a play. The phrase is in refrence to Hall of Fame Phillies third baseman Mike Schmidt, who has 10 gold gloves, his number retired, and probably the best third baseman to ever play the game of baseball. It seems to be used even if the play was impossible to complete. Even for Schmidt.

The Phillies have never really had a great third baseman since the retirement of Schmidt, with the exception of Scott Rolen, who could be the next Schmidt.

Harry Kalas: And David Wright hits a ground ball over to Wes Helms, and he's...juggling the ball, and, he'll have no throw. Oh boy, Schmidty would have had it.

Gary Matthews: Yeah, not exactly a...rouTINE ground ball, but one that he should handle. But yeah, schmidty would have had it.

----------------------

Scott Franske: And stepping to the plate, Andruw Jones. Here comes the pitch from Hamels, and WOOOOOOH and the ball is lined right into the face of Greg Dobbs! And woah he's not going to make a play!

Larry Anderson: Yeah ball hit right to the face of Dobbs, but like we all say, schmidty would have had it.

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Shit yourself, have I?

Fairly ambiguous and is often open to debate on it's correct application.
Historically it has been used to politely ask someone at, say, a formal dinner, if they have farted or indeed, have actually shat their smalls. The use of "have I" helping to ease the embarrasement of the situation.

"excuse me, would you pass the gravy"

"certainly, my pleasure"

(sudden smell of shit is apparant)

"pardon me, but shit yourself, have I?"

should have stayed a thumbnail

What you say after clicking on a profile photo that scars you for life when seen full size.

I clicked on his profile cuz I thought he was hot. But damn, he's so fugly he should have stayed a thumbnail.

does a chicken have lips?

an off-hand method of answering in the affirmative, although most consider it to be confusing and idiotic because a chicken does not, in fact, have lips, and therefore its usage should be avoided.

ryan: hey bruh, you wanna get pizza?
emma: does a chicken have lips?
ryan: no, message received.

emma: no, idiot, it means yes.

ryan: that’s confusing.

emma: i know.