jesus jammer

An extreme Christian who insists on telling everyone around them how great they think jesus is. They also like telling you you're going to hell for...just about anything and everything you do.
Usually they Are in a cult "church"
Jesus jams- god music.

My aunt is a jesus jammer, she told my dad i was a lesbian and cried.

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Jesus Hair

Hair (usually about shoulder-length) that is a combination of straight and wavy, but doesn't look that nice because you didn't bother to do anything to it. Looks similar to the hair jesus is portrayed to have when he's pictured as a white guy.

I was running late this morning so don't make fun of me, I'm just gonna sport the jesus hair

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Jesus Finger

When someone covers their finger in superglue, and then covers it in cocaine, and fingers someone. The fingeree instantly hits the G-spot.

Midway through intercourse:

Man: One second, babe!
Random girl:Okay...
Man: SHU-LAAH!
Girl: *Instant orgasm*
Other guy: Woah! Jesus Finger! Where's my camera?

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dating Jesus

1. A Christian who's not dating because they are waiting for God to reveal their spouse. Made popular by the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris
2. A Christian who's not dating for one of the following reasons; intensely in love with God, fear relationships, fear intimacy, dating is just to much work, socially awkward, etc.

Don't bother asking her out, she's "dating Jesus".

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Jesus freak

Someone who:
Has a bracelet,bumper sticker,t-shirt, etc with Christian phrases on it.

Is a born again Christian.

Goes to church.

Talks freely to many people about their beliefs.

Has the fire of Jesus in their heart.

That person is such a Jesus Freak!

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jesus and pals

A group of super heroes with Jesus at the front. They are noted for defeating the Giant Satin Frog of Satan who had plagued the world for millions of years.

Matthew: OMG did you see jesus and pals on the news last night?

Josiah: Hellz yes I did they were freaking amazing

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Orange Jesus

Nickname for Donald Trump. Applicable since the launch of his campaign to run for the American presidency. The name references both his iconic, tanned skin-tone (orange) and the fact that his most adamant supporters blindly refuse to acknowledge or admit to even his most obvious shortcomings. Their stance toward Mr. Trump is almost one of unquestioned worship of a divine being (Jesus).

- Q) Did you hear the Donald Trump audiotape where he described grabbing women by the.. genitals?
- A) Yeah. It won't matter. Orange Jesus can do no wrong in the eyes of his supporters. They'll insist it's just a character attack by his opponents.

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