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An exclamation indicating displeasure or surprise. See also God Damn it, God Damn Motherfucking Shitty Fucking Shit Fuckers, Jesus Tapdancing Christ, Fucking A, Holy Jesus on a Stick, etc.
Fuck Jesus, she's got a fat ass!
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1. Unequivocally bitchin'. Used where awesome, cool, sweet, dope, bangin' and monkey slappin' fail--a term so Jesus it fails to describe itself.
i.e. "That party was so Jesus!" "This guacamole is Jesuser than a motherfucker!" And the ever popular, "It ain't bitchin' if it ain't Jesus!"
2. Truth beyond truth. (Note that this usage of the term carries mystical powers, as it may be used to catalyze the transformation of previous nontruths into truths truer than other truths. It is not uncommon for a Jesus person to Jes-ify something previously nonJesus simply by using the word Jesus to describe it.)
Usage of the term 'Jesus' is highly useful to a Jesus peep. It is through this usage that a Jesus peep is able to simultaneously assert and assess the jesus-ness of him or herself and other, potentially Jesus people.
nonJesus peep: My chips and dip are so bitchin'!
Jesus peep: My chips and dip are Jesus.
Jesus peep: Hitler is Jesus.
nonJesus peep: How is Hitler Jesus? They are two completely different people. Plus, Hitler is directly responsible for the Holocaust and death of six million Jews, not to mention at least three million non Jews.
Jesus peep: Your face is Jesus.
nonJesus peep: How is my face Jesus? I was going to get a sub from blimpie today and I got bored and made eye contact with a baby and the baby started crying and I'm almost positive it was because of my face. Also, the young woman behind the counter didn't put extra jalapenos on my sub and I'm sure it's because of my face. Then I ate my sub and asked the young girl to prom and she said no because of my face and I'm sure it's because of my face!
Jesus peep: This mirror is Jesus.
nonJesus peep: Thank you so much! My face Jesuser than a motherfucker now!
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Gladiator sandals that go up to the ankle, usually made of leather, but other materials are also acceptable. This sandals are generally regarded as awesome.
Those are awesome Jesus sandals.
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A game in which your opponent picks a random word and you must use a chain of words to connect it to jesus. Whoever fails to make a chain to jesus loses (and will probably go to hell, just saying)
The Jesus Game
Opponent: Pandas
You: Pandas... bamboo... wood... cross... jesus!!
You: Roses
Opponent: roses... thorns... piercing... nails... jesus!!
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Who Bill Cosby thought he was from ages 7-15
"It was because of my father that from the ages of seven to fifteen, I thought that my name was Jesus Christ and my brother, Russell, thought that his name was Dammit. 'Dammit, will you stop all that noise?' And, 'Jesus Christ, sit down!' One day, I'm out playing in the rain, and my father yelled, 'Dammit will you get back in here!' I said, 'Dad, I'm Jesus Christ!'"
--Bill Cosby
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An exclamation of surpise or shock originating on Matt Groening's 'Futurama' animated TV show as a futuristic equivalent of the modern usage of 'Jesus Christ' as an exclamation. Usually preceded by the words 'sweet' or 'holy'.
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1. someone who is always there to be a shoulder to cry on.
A lover who is also a father figure, or a security blanket. Someone who does everything for his/her lover.
2. a 1990 hit for Depeche Mode. Johnny Cash covered it on his last album.
1. Bruce is a sugar daddy for Mary. He's her own personal Jesus.
2. Reach out and touch faith...
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