tony two bags

Trea Turner's favorite player, Anthony Rendon, also known as the best 3rd baseman in baseball. Plays for the best team in the MLB, the Washington Nationals.

And Tony Two Bags, living up to his name, has hit yet another double! Bring us your backpack emojis!

two-seater

- a word to describe someone who is too big (fat)

to fit in one airline seat and is forced to buy another seat.

- a word to describe someone who is on the edge of becoming too fat to fly on in a single seat.

You better watch your diet or else you will be a two-seater and fly extra. Well at least you can have have two carry-ons baggage on the bright side.

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two-shit morning

Those mornings when your typical morning shit is just not enough. This situation arises most frequently after a night of heavy drinking or a late night burrito run.

In a typical two-shit morning, the second sequence arrives unexpectedly, making you late for work/class/court-ordered community service.

You: Sorry I'm late boss, I had one of the two-shit morning. You know how it goes.
Boss: Say no more. I was late too, also on account of a two-shit morning.

Check with your human resources office/principal/parole officer to make sure that a two-shit morning is recognized as a valid excuse for tardiness.

two days

Used by men to describe a particularly unclean woman to another man who is interested in her. Unclean can be taken just about any way you wish, however it usually refers to an STD or a pungent odor.

Comes from the amount of days it will take to get the smell of her vagina off of your hand.

Jimmy, you don't want anything to do with that girl. She's got two days.

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two in the basket

two place ones testicles in a third party's rectum

i just did two in the basket with tom, and i am speechless.

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Two and a Half Men

A comedy show on CBS, based originally on Charlie Harper, played by Charlie Sheen. A hedonistic bachelor and jingle writer who spends his time drinking, womanizing and gambling. His life changes for the worse when his divorced brother Alan and nephew Jake move in.

I'm bored, let's watch Two and a Half Men.

Massive Two Shits

Another name for the state of Massachusetts.

I hate going to Boston in Massive two shits for business.

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