Its like teaching a dinosaur to masturbate

-This saying is often used when you are committing something impossible. For example a T-rex trying to self pleasure with its tiny arms

"I cant figure out how to use this computer Melinda, its like teaching a dinosaur to masturbate"
"Cleaning your bisclitussy is like teach a dinosaur to masturbate"

When I masturbate I think of you

What normal, rational girls don't want to hear.

After band class, some random kid told me "When I masturbate I think of you."

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Masturbation will make you go blind

Blindness caused from masturbation as a result of ejaculating into oneselfs eyeballs.

Grandma said masturbation will make you go blind

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Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October

When you want to nut in November so you do this.

Fuck No Nut November! Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October it is!

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Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.

Not only does it make you go blind and grow hair on your palms, but it also kills kittens!

Jeff: What are you doing in there Steve?
Steve: Um...masturbating
Jeff: Steve NO! Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Think of the kittens!

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Masturbation

The activity of mastering how to bait a fish. /s

Jim: Hey Johnny, I'm going to the lake to masturbate, care to join me?
Johnny: Hell yeah Him, let's go masturbate together.
Jim: Great! Can't wait to get better with my masturbation!

Masturbation

The only thing that makes me feel alive.

Masturbation time!