Took away your masturbating right

Overreaction over something insignificant and mundane

Geez! It was just a watch. Stop hyperventilating. Don't act like someone "took away your masturbating right".

When I masturbate I think of you

What normal, rational girls don't want to hear.

After band class, some random kid told me "When I masturbate I think of you."

28👍 7👎

Masturbation will make you go blind

Blindness caused from masturbation as a result of ejaculating into oneselfs eyeballs.

Grandma said masturbation will make you go blind

1👍 1👎

Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October

When you want to nut in November so you do this.

Fuck No Nut November! Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October it is!

1👍 1👎

Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.

Not only does it make you go blind and grow hair on your palms, but it also kills kittens!

Jeff: What are you doing in there Steve?
Steve: Um...masturbating
Jeff: Steve NO! Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Think of the kittens!

50👍 14👎

Masturbation

The activity of mastering how to bait a fish. /s

Jim: Hey Johnny, I'm going to the lake to masturbate, care to join me?
Johnny: Hell yeah Him, let's go masturbate together.
Jim: Great! Can't wait to get better with my masturbation!

masturbation

when you beat the absolute living shit out of your meat package so fucking hard, that a liquid located inside of your ballsack called "semen", "cum" or "jizz", rapidly shoots out of your penis hole at 800 miles an hour.

it can also lead to your girlfriend becoming pregnant and having children if shooting out your hot sticky jizz while your erect, fat, thick, juicy cock is located inside of her vagina/pussy.

(alone (masturbating))
guy: omagash im boutta cum a large quan-titty of kids after this daily and excessive masturbation

(with partner)
guy: oh my gosh im gonna shoot my hot cum inside of your pussy!!!!!!!11111
girl: shoot it inside of me daddy uwu